Why Haters Are Good For You



what's up guys so I have a few minutes here waiting on my client to come back anyways while I have a few moments here I just wanted to share a couple ideas because this morning one of my favorite groomers to follow him his name is Miguel Miguel Rodriguez he makes some incredible dog outfits like incredible oh are we still live all right so we're still got like phone calls so my client will be back here in about 10 minutes I got about 10 minutes to finish my thoughts here so Miguel Rodriguez was streaming live today talking about haters and that's something that kind of is a sensitive topic for me because I mean everybody knows I've been dealing with haters – in my entire career and a lot of times I get wrapped up in emotions and I addressed my haters and I get all emotional that's not good and the idea was because you know it like I thought that haters was it's not good to have haters you know I was like oh yeah I'll show them and the thing is I realized it's it haters are some of your best resources seriously you want haters here's why haters by Nature highlight your weaknesses your flaws your mistakes that's what they do that's what they specialize in haters are experts at picking out your flaws and your failures and your mistakes reminding you of them right that's what haters do so it's almost like hiring a consultant but saving the money you know you don't have to pay thousands of dollars to have a consultant come and show you where you can improve just get more haters around you and they'll tell you where you can improve you know they may see it in a way that angers you but just control that yeah I remember one time this one person commented on one of my youtube videos they're like you talk way too much and I remember thinking that my first response was well then don't don't watch my stuff my second then I realized that's not a good response and so then I realized wait a minute they might be right let me try to be more concise let me try to make my ideas more brief right and so hey the joke's on them even if they said it in a way attack me if I turn it into a good thing for myself if I benefit from their criticism Hey the joke's on them right it only improves my game so failures why you shouldn't avoid failures even because with every failure you learn how to do it better the next time right and a failure is only a failure if you give up if you if you take the lessons that you learn from your failures and you apply it to your next attempt then it's not actually not a failure it's actually it happened for your benefit my business event I mean I failed so many times but I didn't give up and I found a way to make my grooming style work I got rid of the overhead I got rid of everything that wasn't necessary for my style of grooming I just needed a place to groom that's save and I needed you know good grooming tools and time I needed time to do it because of my style especially during this time of year dogs are just shedding there's a lot more going on in their skin so I need more time you know it's a ice I felt I figured out a way to make it work my school even when I start a grooming school here in Atlanta I'm pretty sure the first school I start here is probably gonna fail I mean it's just the odds are it probably will not work out the first attempt but I know that I have to that's a bridge they have to cross I can't I can't not try to start a grooming school here just because I'm scared of failure no I have to be willing to cross that bridge and say I am gonna put my everything into it I'm gonna do my best to make the most you know valuable school here in Atlanta for dog groomers I'm gonna try I'm gonna try to make it excellent but if I fall flat on my face and I go in debt again and I and I fail then hey that's that's that actually excites me because I know that with that failure I'm gonna learn things that I could not have ever learned otherwise I'm gonna get answers to questions that I didn't even know to ask you know and then my second attempt will be much better you know even if I fail the first time trying to build a school here in Atlanta I know that went through that failure my second attempt will be even better you know so don't avoid failures and you your haters they're your best resource seriously they're gonna point out all of the things that you do wrong that you're not good at you know your mistakes everything and thank them because now you know what to work on you're right so instead of hiring consultants just get more haters and here's how you get more haters keep doing things in accomplishing your goals you know keep writing goals measurable goals that you can work towards and make measurable progress towards and keep growing keep doing better because as you grow and as you rise inevitably that causes more haters to come to you just draw more hate the attention of more haters the the higher you rise so the answer is not to stay quiet not to stay low the answer is to keep trying keep striving and to try to do your best because that's gonna draw the haters out and they're gonna start to attack you and every time they do take what they're saying and say say okay where is the is the piece of truth to that because not all of its gonna be true but if they say hey um you talk too much for my example you talk too much okay perfect I probably do talk too much so let me figure out how I can make my ideas more concise you know I'm not wasting many people's times you're not used to many filler words so I started to go to Toastmasters and I'm you know I'm gonna make a speech there tonight anyways my point is don't don't be scared of trying something and giving it your all and flowing flat on your face and embarrassing yourself feeling ashamed at everybody pointing and laughing at you don't worry about that and if somebody says hey stupid you know you're an idiot you can even ask why why do you say why do you think I'm an idiot I mean I'm not disagreeing it's probably true but what specifically it causes you to think that I'm an idiot well because when when I see when I see some of your grooming videos I see the dog fell off the table you're an idiot a great thank you for bringing that to my attention I'm gonna I'm gonna make sure that I you know and more aware and I'm you know like yeah that's the thing is like they're haters usually try to hurt you but it's they cannot they can never hurt you if every time they say something to attack you you take it and you turn it around and make and make yourself even better because of their criticism then you never lose right so I just wanted to share that if you have people hating on you if you have people saying things that you feel is unfair turn it around on them you know and say thank you so much for bringing that to my attention and you did it for free I didn't have to pay you for for any consultation fee or anything you know I I would have had to pay somebody to come and do some examination and you know try to do some work and figure out where I can improve you did it for free thank you so much hater I appreciate that you know and failures with every failure you gain experience you know feeling the shop you know what the the retail shop that I had horrific spa Buckhead now I know when I when I negotiate for a new space I know to ask for build-out money I know to ask for you know like I know all these terms now because I didn't know that before and by going through it and failing and seeing oh I could have done this I could have done that I didn't know now if I ever get a new retail spot I can do it so much better because of that failure that I went through you see I'm saying so even even tonight's speech I actually canceled it because I was I was going be getting behind today and then I was gonna be late for my next appointment but things just worked out today where I cancelled my next appointment we rescheduled for this Thursday and now I'm gonna do go to cook Toastmasters tonight and and make that make deliver that speech but this is the same speech that I've been trying to look to make at this putos masters meeting for the past like 3-4 weeks now and I think a part of it is that I'm scared to deliver the speech because it's how to self publish a book and I'm speaking in front of these professionals and they're probably all much more successful I am and Here I am trying to give them a speech about how to write a book and publish it you know but you know I guess I'm afraid of looking foolish of it very bearing myself but I have to be willing to cross that bridge I have to be willing to get up there and make a fool of myself so that the next time I have an opportunity to do that I will be better but I'll never get better without going through that failure you see what I'm saying and then there's there are no haters that the Toastmasters meetings but let's just say there was let's just say there was a hater there and after the speech he's like a good job bro you know way to go up there and flop you know and maybe maybe he'll say wait wait a way to use a bunch of filler words ahhs and arms and you knows and butts and stuttering up there you really wasted my time you know then instead of taking a fence I could say wow thank you so much do you have any other suggestions do you have any other feedback that I can use to be better the next time you know and here's the thing even if somebody was saying something critical to you and they'd meant to hurt your feelings if you don't allow that if you don't if you decide not to allow them to hurt your feelings and you decide to take it in a good pop more positive way then the joke's on them and actually you may actually create a strong ally so I'm gonna finish with this one example when I started a new job at Nissan gonna place Nissan for the new salesman because we don't have a lot of leads we're just starting everything's they give you a list of people of like to call these dead deals they call them deal that just didn't work out and they have like birthdays right so they print out all the people that have a birthday that month I started going down calling the list you know and I mean I was leaving these long messages hi this is Jim with Lynette place nice on it you know I'm gonna you know all this stuff if you're in the market for a car you know and then finally this one guy he was one of the top salesmen he goes hey here I you know I don't even see him I just hear hey stop that hey what's that Tanya what's up Mandy it's like putting behind me from you know the desk hey stop that you're wasting your time you're wasting everyone else's time to write and I just I put the phone down I looked and here's this guy you know looking at his cubicle towards me and he's like kind of giving me this look right and so I wanted to say my knee-jerk reaction I wanted to say hey how about you mind your own business how about you think you do things your way and just let me do things my way how about that would that be okay you know I want it to be petty you know but something I knew that he was one of the top salesmen so something inside me at that moment told me let's turn this around right let's be grateful so then I told him I was like wow thank you so much and I won't say his name but I was like thank you so much we'll just come Brian thank you so much Brian I really appreciate that I was like I'm a new salesman here I know that you're one of the top salesmen for you to even take your time to help me and give me some advice I really appreciate that thank you so much and he looked at me cuz I don't think he was expecting that he just looked at me and I looked at him bad guys I really I mean it as I appreciate it I'm not gonna make those up I'm not making these phone calls anymore you know and he goes come outside with me I was like oh is it going down you know no it's getting I didn't I didn't think that we were about to fight or anything but he's just like come on come on side with me so I was like okay so I follow him outside right and then he starts to tell me all these things you like listen I see I seen you you know with your client with the customers and I see how you do things he's like you're very excited you're very enthusiastic energetic he was like but none of that is actually matters you know and he started giving me pointers of how I can get right to the point or what they need how I can help them and save a lot of time right and then the one thing that really I still I still remember to this day I was like what about when they try to trip you up they try to catch you on stuff and they trying to make you seem like you don't really know what you're doing and stuff and he was like like what and I was like well for example this Nissan Sentra or something right I was like what if what if somebody asked you how many cubic inches are in the trunk of this Nissan Sentra or Nissan you know whatever and he goes he's like it's like we he was like are we doing like a weed role-playing I was like yeah I was like what if I'm a customer and you're you're you're trying to make a deal with me and I'm being hard I'm being a hard-ass and I say how many how many cubic inches of the trunk space is in is it this Nissan and he goes compared to yours he was like what are you driving right now I was like just like don't worry about what I'm driving right because I had like a old 82 nice Toyota anyways I was like don't worry about what I'm driving it's like well compared to your car I mean how many cubic how many of cubic inches a trunk space do you have in your car right now and I was like I don't know he was like well then why does it matter here's like if you you know you wouldn't even here's like you don't need to know how many cubic inches of squares trunk space is in that in this car if you don't even know how many quick cubic inches are in your car why do you need to know that he was like compared compared to your car what are you driving I told him it's like compared to your car it has more I was like wow wow he was like I'm not even gonna address that question he was like I'm gonna figure out why he's asking it you know I was like wow he gave me all this advice and just and the crazy thing is there was another day we were out there we were talking he was giving me some advice and giving him pointers and there's a group of guys there you know outside smoking cigarettes and stuff I was like hey guys I'll say you gotta you gotta come talk to this you know you gotta come talk to Brian I was like he's got so like jet and he tapped me he like hit me on my shoulder right he's like stop that I was like what and and he likes stop that he was like I'm not telling this I'm not giving away this information to people who don't you know who don't matter who don't deserve it and I was like whoa really I was like but I don't I thought you know they don't want to be helpful he was like doing that he was like that's like throwing pearls to the swine you know he was like why would I waste my time giving advice and and trying to help these people if they're not even gonna value it he was like you know they're they're useless I'm not gonna spend my time with them and I realized at that moment that he wouldn't have wasted his time with me either had I not shown him that I'm willing to take his his advice I'm willing to consider feedback you know and I'm willing to change I'm willing to change what the way I'm behaving if if I if I knew better I would do better you know and so yeah he would not have wasted his time on me had I had the very first time when he said hey stop making those phone calls you're wasting everyone's time and you're wasting your no you're wasting your time you're wasting everyone else's time – if I turned around and say hey why don't you mind your own business I bet he would have just said okay and then he would have continued up being one of the top salesmen and I would have continued on being one of the worst right but because I swallowed my pride I killed my ego at that moment you know I put my ego aside I said thank you I did not consider that I didn't consider that I've wasting my time and everyone else's time as well thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not gonna make these phone calls anymore and I'm not gonna leave these long voicemail messages that he wore you know that's when he said to himself this is someone who's coachable this is someone who's teachable let me spend some of my time on him he said come outside with me but then another day when I went all those guys you know smoking cigarettes just you know bullshitting around when I tried to call them over and said hey guys come here we're having this awesome conversation like he's got so many great tips and advice you know boom he hit me you know stop that you know he was like don't do that stop that you know and I was like okay never mind you know I was like why and he was like it's a waste of time you see what I'm saying so yeah even if you do have somebody who you think is hating on you if you just put your pride and ego aside for a moment and say thank you I didn't consider that and let me now I'm gonna be even better because of what you just told me right that person may actually turn out to be your greatest ally so just consider that in your failures the following flat on your face embarrassing yourself in public trying really hard and getting your heart smashed into a thousand pieces anyways that don't avoid that that is actually gonna make you better you know you'll never grow if you don't feel the need to and a lot of times it's our failures that points out the things that we need to work on that we continue to deny or ignore our entire lives but when you once you fall flat on your face a lot of times there's no denying it you know you have to do it it forces you to confront those character flaws you know and then you can change and then you can get better once you accept you know once you accept it anyways hopefully that helps guys if especially if you're dealing with failure if you're dealing with haters if you're dealing with all of that negativity flip it around and turn it into a positive because it will change your life for the better see you guys

3 thoughts on “Why Haters Are Good For You

  1. This is such valuable information for life and for business! Think positively, Jun, you are following your passion. Have positive grand expectations for what you are walking into! Plan with positive purpose and you can make it come to fruition if it’s meant to be. Praying for you, your family, and your business?.

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