Live from New York City, it’s The Wendy Williams Show.
(audience cheers) (upbeat pop music)
♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it feel it feel it ♪ ♪ Let’s go, come on, you need it ♪ ♪ How you doing ♪
(audience whooping) ♪ Good good good, how you doing ♪ Now here’s Wendy! (audience cheering) (audience whooping) ♪ How you doing ♪ Woo! Thank you for watching our show. (audience cheering) (Wendy laughs) Say hello to my co-host, my studio audience. (audience cheering)
(audience whoops) How you doing? How you doing? I’m doing better, ’cause I can finally tell you a secret. (audience oohing) Let’s get started, it’s time for Hot Topics! (giggles) (audience cheering) (bass-heavy electronic music) Okay. I’ve been sitting on a secret for a little time now. (audience woos) Alright, so, well, the first part of the secret, you already knew, and that is that I’m getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. (audience cheering) I can’t breathe, I can’t tell you, I can’t breathe. Norman at wardrobe is busy
(Norman laughs) getting me the biggest poof he could possibly, I mean, excuse me– Willie, Willie.
Willie. (laughs) Good morning, Norman. Good morning. (chuckles) Willie is busy getting me the biggest poof, or whatever he’s gonna get me, I just told him I want it poofy and plunging. (audience chuckles)
(audience cheering) Right? So, so here’s the thing. It’ll be, and we’ve counted it down, in the bureau, they count it down, the 2,677th star. Now, in the bigger scheme of Hollywood, I would’ve thought that there were way more than that. I mean, have you ever been outside on the sidewalk and walked that?
(audience agrees) I’ve walked it before, it’s just seems impossible, first of all, that there’s only 2,700 and whatever I just said to you. (audience laughs) But, even more importantly, I’ll be getting my star in a good neighborhood. (audience cheers)
‘Cause, no no no, no no no, no no no, oh, no no, oh, no no, wait, no no, hold on now, hold on now, ’cause when you get a star, you don’t want to be in the way dead zone, you know? People who’ve been dead for 100 years and nobody walks up there.
(audience laughs) My star, they let me know, thank you, Chamber of Commerce, I’m near Ryan Murphy and Jason Bateman. We know them!
(audience cheers) we know them! And then, the whole thing about the star is that you have to have a couple of people to speak for you who can talk about, not like your mom or your dad, hi, mommy, hi, daddy, not you guys. But, people in the industry speak about you, and talk about how you deserve the star. So I’m like, “Well, who do I get?” This is not the time for Norman and Suzanne. (audience laughs)
You know what I mean? Suzanne, you’ve only known me since this talk show. I’m, but we’d be great! But, without radio–
Right. I wouldn’t be here, and you’d never know me. That’s right, that’s right.
Right? You weren’t a listener.
Mm hm. Norman, you were radio, you heard about me. Oh, yeah.
But you’re still, you know what I’m saying?
Yeah. I wanted to get some heavy hitters, man. (audience cheers) So, I reached on a wing and a prayer, and I’m glad they both said yes. I got the CEO of FOX TV Station, Jack Abernethy. (audience cheers)
Look, Jack is all our bosses, right? Thanks, Jack! (laughs) Thank you for the opportunity. And then, so Jack’s gonna speak for me for the TV, and the without radio, there wasn’t TV, so I got the king of all radio, Elvis Duran, whose better? (audience cheers)
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! And I’m gonna be crooking arms with my son, yup! And so I get, wait, Norman, did they say I get to say when I get the star? There’s a–
Yeah, next Thursday. Okay, next Thursday, next Thursday, okay, okay! (audience cheers)
(Wendy laughs) (chanting) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!
Wait, wait! Wait wait wait wait, wait.
(audience cheers) So, from what I, and there’s a whole day planned, and all I know is that Willie’s gonna have 15 costume changes, and one better be more ridiculous and poofy than the other, right? (audience laughs) And then, my son’s gonna be there, wait, what did I want to tell? Oh, if you’re in LA next Thursday, October 17th, please report to the dance floor of the star outside, (audience laughs)
at, I believe I was told 11:45-12:30, it’s 45 minutes, but it’s mayhem. And I want, like Wendy, I want to feel it, feel it, feel it. Yeah.
(audience cheers) Thanks, thanks. (laughs) Thank you. (laughing) I’m so honored, like, oh gosh, what a mess. We made it, girls. (audience cheers) Won’t be able to drink that until Ask Wendy, (audience laughs)
very hot. Hey, did you watch Dancing with the Stars last night? (audience agrees) Alright, well Lamar was sent home. (audience awes) Well, he danced, and dragged his partner, and what not, but he had the lowest score,
(audience laughs) he’s had the lowest score every week, and so the audience liked him a lot, and they kept him going, and that’s why he stayed. But, you know, the bottom two last night were Lamar and the Queer Eye’s guy, Karamo Brown. (audience grumbles)
And so, the judges decided that Lamar was the one to get sent home. Oh, Lamby, meh!
(audience laughs) Not for being sent home, Lamby, but for what you did when you didn’t think the camera’s were rolling. (audience groans)
Okay, no no, look look, look at Lamby! (laughs) (audience shrieking) Now look, now look, now look, now look. I don’t know whether he caught something at the Bunny Ranch, or he just had to, but men are so disgusting with that though. You know what? That’s a natural thing that a lot of men do, which is so disgusting, when you don’t think we’re watching, you all adjust your junk? What is that? Ew, anyway, I didn’t see Dancing with the Stars though, last night, ’cause I was on the telephone with the legendary Charles Oakley. (audience oohs)
Oh, now, oh, now, now, hold on now, no. (Norman laughs)
(audience applause) I’m cool.
I know, apparently. No, shout out to Oak, I’ll see you later on this week. (audience member shrieks)
But, (audience laughs)
I told you I just have cats, I am definitely not the cat lady. (audience cheers) But you know I’m very dramatic, don’t you? I’ll tell you what we do after we do it. (audience laughs)
Alright, so, so here’s the deal, right? So, Jennifer Lopez, you would imagine that you can’t be a Jennifer Lopez without having certain demanding ways, you know what I mean? That’s just natural. She’s not that way around here, but I was suspect that she’s that way, in particular, in her life. Otherwise, how do you get that success? I love your red and gold blazer. Oh, my Merry Christmas goodness. (audience cheers) That’s a good one! That’s a good one, yes! Anyway, welcome! Thank you. You’re welcome! So, Jen recently appeared on this British talk show talking about her style secrets. Well, when the segment was over, the man and the woman hosting the show made fun of her. (audience oohs)
(laughs) Right, right? We don’t even do that here, you know what I mean? But it sounded classy, ’cause they have the British accents. You know, everything sounds classier with the accent. Alright, you just take a look at this, go ahead. One secret that J.Lo didn’t mention was her love of milk and cookies. Yeah, more specifically a cookie warmed to the perfect temperature, with a glass of full fat milk, cold. So, that’s what J.Lo’s team insisted we had waiting for her upon her arrival, and there was quite a commotion when they worried that the cookie wasn’t quite the right temperature. So, if you want Jennifer’s real secret to looking fabulous at 50, this is it. (audience laughs)
(Wendy laughs) (audience applause) The question is should the hosts have talked about it? My answer is yes! (audience laughs) Of course! You know, I mean if she was diva demanding milk and cookies, that’s like fun stuff, it’s like fun stuff. I’m sure Jen gets it, and you know what? She probably didn’t, somebody phone on? Yeah, yeah.
Get out, get out! (Norman laughs)
Turn that phone off now, sir, ma’am, whoever you are. (audience boos)
Just please, kindly, the tickets are free, but when you come here, you must turn your phones off. I was being over-dramatic, but kindly, please turn your phone off. (audience laughs)
Thank you. (audience applause) So, here’s the thing, I bet you Jen was probably on her way to the studio and stuff, and she was hungry, but thy couldn’t stop, and they had to keep going, and so she said, “Well, call ahead. I would like cookies and milk.” I haven’t had a glass of white milk in probably since I breast fed, or something. (audience laughs) It’s so weird to me when people, grown people drink milk. That used to kill me about how Columbo, wasn’t he the one who drank milk? What crime boss on TV drank milk? Yeah, it’s Columbo, uh huh.
It’s Columbo, uh huh. Columbo would drink milk and solve crime. Anyway.
(audience laughs) So, she wanted a cookie and a milk, what is the big deal? I bet you it wasn’t demand, it was probably just, you know, “Would she like anything for her green room?” People always ask that kind of stuff. And she said, “I would like a cookie and milk.” And there was probably a microwave there like there usually is in a green room, and she’s a mom, she knows how to put the cookie in the microwave, but I think that the hosts were probably making more of it than it really was, you know what I mean? Like, I like orange juice, the Tropicana. (audience applause)
Look, now, hold on now. (giggles) I like seven Tropicanas with no pulp. (audience chatters)
Well, now now, hold on, they’re expensive, and if I’m coming on your show, then I expect to bring home gifts. (audience applause)
(Wendy giggles) And not a simple coffee mug and a t-shirt, you know what I mean? Like, I go through that green room. I take all the nuts,
(audience laughs) I ask for the Jolly Ranchers, they pour them in a thing, I put all them in my bag. It’s not a big deal. It’s kind of like comedy, you have to ask for something. Otherwise, all you have in there are waters, and t-shirts, and coffee mugs, so you ask for something. But I like the no-pulp Tropicana, the smaller ones. I drink one while I’m there, then I drink water, they always have a lot of water. Then I take the other six Tropicanas, dump them in my bag.
(audience laughs) (audience applause) My mother taught me well, and I take the waters, too. And that whole bit, it’s like not a big deal. And I was reminded the other day, Suzanne, by John Anderson, my lovely John. Do you know what he told me? What did he tell you?
Out of nowhere– Uh huh?
He’s like, “Remember when Justin Bieber came here, and trashed the green rooms?”
Yeah, and kicked him! And kicked John!
Yes, kicked poor John. John is like, so innocent. John looks like, and not the exact like, but family to, from the same family tree as Fred Mertz. Oh, yep! (laughs) Oh, yeah! Yes, yes?
I can see that. Imagine a little kid, he’s like 13 years old when he comes here, fighting with Fred Mertz. (laughs) Uh huh. So, but John told me, but John was like, “You know what? But his father told him, ‘What are you doing? You get back up there, and you straighten up that green room’.” His father told him that, and Justin had to go right back up there, yep.
Alright, alright! (audience applause) So, dammit, man. (audience laughs) No, because I don’t understand how you keep almost a million dollars worth of jewelry in the console of your car on a regular basis. So, T.I.’s wife, Tiny, you know we love Tiny, uh huh. Tiny with the blue eyes.
(audience laughs) So, she was robbed over the weekend. Over $750,000 worth of jewelry stolen from her Lamborghini. (audience grumbles) She kept the bundle inside of a blue velour bag. It had her wedding ring, several watches, studded earrings, and it was all in the center console (audience grumbles)
in a Lamborghini. Well, I’m not suggesting anything, but I’m just looking at the camera. (audience laughs) Anyway, what had happened was Tiny and a friend of hers were inside a place, then the friend went outside to the car to get, excuse me, to get something, and then the friend came back in. And when Tiny and the friend came back out to leave the place, I don’t know whether it was night, or day, a night club or nail salon, I don’t know. Anyway, the police were there, and they said, “There’s no sign of forced entry, and there was no damage done to the vehicle.” (audience grumbles) So, now what do you think? (audience chatters) Mrs. Harris. Well, hopefully the parking lot has cameras, and the security and we will see exactly what this was. But, you know, clap if your car has ever been broken into and robbed. (audience applause) That happens a lot? That only happened to me once in my life. It was when I was new with the Bad Kevin, and… (audience laughs) (audience cheers) But, this time, it wasn’t my car. It was his car, alright? (audience cheers)
So, look, no, (laughs) this is back in the day when everybody had Pathfinders, right, right? And, I had a black one with the gates on the front, and the gates on the back, and tinted windows. It looked like a man’s car, but that was what I needed ’cause as a single woman, I’m trying to whip it around the city and not be robbed. (audience laughs) And he had a green one, right? So he takes me on a date, we go to Webster Hall in the city, and we had a good parking space outside, we didn’t park in a garage. And so, I was like, “Are you sure we’re gonna be good out here?” Now mind you, we’d only been dating for like, 32 seconds. (audience laughs)
I was like, “Are we gonna be good out here?” And this is when flip phones were big, right? So, I had my flip in my bag, but he left his on the seat in the car. And he had already come around, opened the car door for me, I got out, I closed the door, but I’m looking to see if I have lipstick on my teeth through the window, and I’m like, “But your phone’s there.” He’s like, “No, we’re late, come on, let’s go. Some cars have the look that you don’t mess with them.” Well, alright, his was all kitted up, too. And, he had that little tiny steering wheel, remember when that was popular? You replaced your steering wheel, the regular size one with that little tiny one? (audience laughs)
(Wendy laughs) Those were the days. Anyway, and we came out and I’ll be damned, glass all over the seat, flip phone gone, car robbed. But I’ve never been a victim of a car robbery. All I’m saying, Tiny, is either you didn’t lock your door, or maybe this was an inside job. (audience cheers)
But hopefully, the cameras are working and we’ll all know the truth soon. (audience applause) Congratulations to Safaree Samuels, Nicki Minaj’s ex-boyfriend. Safaree and his Love & Hip Hop star, Erica Mena, tied the knot last night, this all happened last night. (audience applause)
The camera crew was there. Safaree performed his song, “No Regular Girl”, at the reception. They had a full blown wedding. I had no idea! I mean, they invited actual people and everything! Everybody’s dressed in black.
(audience laughs) Well, it was just last week that they announced that they’re expecting their first child together. Safaree has no children, I think Erica has one, or something?
Another, an older kid. Yeah, and so that’ll be her second, his first. So, you know what? Congratulations, you all, and good luck. (audience cheers) You know, I do want to remind you what we’re doing tonight, everybody, if we can just come together as a collective. Yes ma’am, we are watching the BET Hip Hop Awards, yes we are. (laughs)
(audience cheers) Yes we are. (laughs) The legendary, multi-platinum super star, Lil’ Kim Queen Bee, is going to be there. (audience cheers) She’s going to be receiving the I Am Hip Hop Icon Award. If you’re not there for anything, be there for that. But, she’s reuniting with the Junior Mafia, (audience cheers)
and they’re gonna do a full, hardcore tribute. A whole bunch of celebrities in the audience, a whole bunch of your favorite hip hop stars on stage. It starts at, what time, Norman, 8:00? 8:00.
Perfect. Uh huh.
Can I be in bed by the 11:00 news?
Yeah. Okay, you don’t want to miss it. It’s the BET Hip Hop Awards tonight at 8:00, only on what?
BET! (audience cheers) And we go more great show for you, everybody. Up next, the very funny Mario Cantone is here, so grab a snack, and come on back. (upbeat pop music)
(audience whooping) (upbeat pop music)
(audience cheers) (audience whooping)
Welcome back! Our first guest is an actor, comedian, a Broadway star, he’s everything to us. He’s currently performing at Cafe Carlyle, a very civilized place to see a good time in New York. Please welcome back to our show Mario Cantone. (audience cheers)
(upbeat rock music) Thank you.
So good to see you. Thank you.
Good for you. Good for you, just got to tell you. Hello, (yells) hello! Oh, hello! Oh, you got the shoe cam? Well, okay, just sit down. Well, you know, ’cause I wore new shoes today. The pressure of the new shows.
Okay, there you go, go. They’re really beautiful.
(feet stomping) Look, they have taps on them! (imitates clacking)
(audience cheers) And they’re suede, decorative laces. Uh huh.
Yeah, rag & bone, very lovely.
And very comfortable. Yeah, I know, the pressure of the shoe cam, I don’t buy a lot of shoes, I’m not a big shoe person, but I have to when I come here. I bought new freaking shoes for you. (audience cheers)
You don’t have to! No, I have to.
No, we like people to come the way they are.
Really? I turned on The View yesterday, and you were singing to Joy, happy birthday, Joy! I was, happy birthday, Joy, I sang “Joy to the World”. Yeah!
(audience awes) It was rewritten with impeachment lyrics. (Wendy laughs)
(audience laughs) And they were in the prompter, ’cause Joy was singing along with you.
Yes, she was singing along with me, I had lovely dissonant backup vocals from Joy Behar.
So funny. And yeah, you can see it on YouTube. It’s very funny, I like it a lot, I’m happy I did it. It’s a lot of pressure. ‘Cause Jerry, my husband, writes those lyrics. Oh!
And we do, it’s a whole production, yeah, it’s not easy! So, if I doesn’t go right, nobody’s having sex that night. (audience awes)
No, no one is, absolutely not. No, it’s, “Go in the loft, Jerry!” (laughs) Or divide the covers and turn your back. Well, you know long distance relationships, and long term relationships, you know, you got to have that other bed, ’cause if they’re snoring, get downstairs, go!
(audience cheers) Either that, or get your adenoids removed! You know what adenoids are? You’re speaking to me right now. Yeah, I know.
I can’t. I know. I haven’t seen you since everything, and I’m just glad you’re here, and you look great, and good for you, that’s all I have to say. Good for you!
(audience cheers) Life moves on, Mario.
That’s right! I ain’t got not time for that mess! (chuckles) In the mean time, but you and I are in a disagreement, or you’re upset with me? Okay, first of all, Wendy–
That’s what I was told. Okay, you were speaking about the new Judy Garland movie? Yes. I saw this clip, and I almost choked myself so I couldn’t listen to it again. Could you please roll it? The movie Judy is about Judy Garland, you know, we know her– ♪ Over the river and through the woods ♪ No, wait, no, wait, I’m sorry that’s not right. Off to see the wizard. ♪ We’re off the see the wizard ♪ ♪ Follow the yellow brick road ♪ ♪ Follow the yellow brick road ♪ Right, right! (laughs) (audience applause)
No, don’t applaud! Don’t applaud! First of all, “Over the river and through the woods”? Mario!
And then, you didn’t even connect it to “Over the Rainbow” over and over. You were like, “Oh, no!” ♪ Follow the yellow brick ♪
I’m gay, I’m not that gay! (audience laughs)
I’m sorry! Judy Garland, I mean, it’s “Over the Rainbow”! I was so appalled when I heard that, I cannot tell you. I was like, “Oh!” But, did you see the movie?
I’m even more appalled I haven’t seen the movie yet and I really do want to see it. Well, you know.
On a scale of one to 10, what do you give it, 10 being the best? No, I’m not gonna rate it, because it’s the role I should’ve played, first of all. Okay.
(audience grumbles) That’s right! Actually, you know what? Her acting is really, really good. Renee Zellweger.
But she can’t really sing like Judy Garland, but I give her an A for effort for saying, “I want to do my own singing,” even though she didn’t. Because, you know, look, did you see Bohemian Rhapsody? I know this is blasphemous, but really? I mean, half of his performance is a lip-sync. For me–
Why are you so critical? Because I am very critical! (audience applause)
Then you see the Elton John movie, then you see the Elton John movie, that young man, Taron Egerton, is acting, and singing his own stuff, he is magnificent. Okay.
Sissy Spacek in the Coal Miner’s Daughter, she’s singing her own stuff. You’re going back to far! I know, time travel, (fearful cries). Yeah, no, but I would’ve loved to have played that role. It should’ve been me. ♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪
(audience cheers) ♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪ ♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪ ♪ His truth is marching on ♪ (audience cheers) It’s a little early. Were you a big fan of Diahann Carroll? I love Diahann Carroll, I was so, I had the lunchbox! I had the Julia lunchbox!
Okay! Talk about getting bullied for that, but still, I didn’t care. I walked into school with my Julia lunchbox with my head held high! I was like, “Go ahead, call me a little queer, go ahead!” (audience laughs) I love Diahann Carroll! I read her second book, it was called The Legs Are the Last to Go.
Okay, and– And, it was all about, a lot of it was about her affair with Sidney Poitier, and it was a beautiful book. Oh, god, it’s a great book. She was amazing.
Yeah. She was amazing, you know, she was the first black woman to have a series on television. Yeah, where she wasn’t playing a toilet bowl washer. (audience applause)
No, she was playing a nurse, she had a young little boy.
I dressed as her for Halloween!
You did? I did, there it is, I dressed as Julia. (audience awes)
That was in the second season of our show. I did a two costume Halloween costume that day, and during commercial, I went and I put on my Julia costume. Do you like Halloween?
No! (audience laughs)
No! I like Halloween.
I mean, I’m gonna dress up. You are?
One year, I didn’t during the show, and I felt like I was being a curmudgeon to the entire day. Everybody came, they were dressed up, and I just had on a simple wrap dress. I don’t dress up, I won’t dress up. When I was a kid–
This is shocking. I don’t, I don’t do it, I don’t go to the parade. I stay home, it’s too crazy, it’s too much. Do you open up your doorbell? I don’t, ’cause we live in an apartment building. So do I, now! But, you know what?
Not my fault. No, but it’s (snickers). (audience laughs)
I go around with a little bag of candy, and I’ll give it to kids in my neighborhood, ’cause they’re not gonna buzz more door. And then, some of them look at me like, “Who are you?” And I’m like, “Just take the Reese’s, I’m famous!” (audience laughs)
(Wendy laughs) (audience applause)
Can’t you just give, if you give it to your doorman, ’cause that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna get a big bucket, give it to the doorman, I’m not opening my door. See, I live low to the ground, baby. There’s no doorman.
(audience laughing) I don’t want anybody to know my business. Do you have pets? Do you dress your pets up?
Pets? I don’t have a plant.
Oh! (laughs) (audience laughs)
I don’t have a plant! You know, I’m very Italian. We live very, as my friend Bevy used to say to me, she says, “You live low to the ground.” Bevy who, Smith?
Bevy Smith. I rent, I rent, I rent, I don’t own anything, I don’t own a thing, I don’t want to own anything. Right.
I just want, I don’t want anything tying me down, I don’t. Well, you have a husband. I have a husband.
And as I’ve learned, that can tie you down.
Yeah, okay. (audience cheers) But, look, I have a husband. I’m very lucky, ’cause he doesn’t tie me down. He drives me crazy sometimes, but he also is in Seattle a lot, you know?
You’re down with the swirl. Oh, yeah, very.
I constantly have to be reminded of that.
There he is, oh yeah, he’s so handsome. So, he’s in Seattle, and you’re in New York? How does that work? Well, he got a job, he’s the Artistic Director of a big theater in Seattle called the Village Theatre, and this just happened a year and a half ago. And I was like, I have separation anxiety, I was like, “What do you mean you’re going away?” How often do you go out there? Well, I don’t go to Seattle too much. But you’re at the Carlyle now, so hoe does that work?
I’m at the Carlyle October 22-26th. No, I work here, he comes home a lot, too, I do see him. But it’s not easy. But also, after a while, at first, I was panicked about it. And then, I was like, after a few weeks, I was like, “This is freaking great!” There are highlights.
Oh, I was like, (Wendy laughs)
I can stretch out in my bed, and–
Sleep like a starfish? Oh, yeah! I don’t have to push him over to one side when he’s snoring.
You watch whatever you want on your phone and the TV.
Oh, anything I want. But then, after a month, I’m like, “Alright, come home, please come home.”
Yeah. (audience awes)
You’re very handsome with the facial hair. I just saw the picture of you and your husband. (audience cheers) You know what? The facial hair, you know why? Because you got good, luxurious top hair, and really good eyebrows, and you’ve got smokey, natural eyes.
I have smokey, natural eyes. They’re just naturally smokey. I didn’t smoke before I came here, so I don’t know why they’re smokey.
(audience laughs) I like the beard and mustache thing. Thank you, I like it, it’s alright. You know, I go back and forth with it. I do it, and then I don’t do it, I don’t know. So, what’s all going on on the Carlyle? Well, the Carlyle is a very, you know, high-end– I love the Carlyle!
Why don’t you come? Okay.
I sing, I do impressions. And you can eat dinner there. You can have dinner there. It’s very small, only 80 people. It’s very, very lovely.
It’s very, very good. Now do you get off the stage and saunter between the tables? No, I stay on the stage. It is a performance, Wendy. (audience laughs)
No! You got to go between–
I’m not one of those comedians, either, that you know, does stuff to the audience, where I’m like, you know, I rank on them. I just don’t do that.
You’re not gonna have a glitter gun?
I have a show, it’s the theater. A glitter gun? Like Rip Taylor?
Like Rip Taylor, rest in peace.
Oh, bless Rip Taylor, bless Rip Taylor. No, I won’t, and I don’t dress up, just like for Halloween. Do you know there was two things I was for Halloween. I was either Cher or Peter Pan, that was it. (audience laughs)
That’s what I was. And then, one year, I have to tell you this story, one year I was, did you ever see the horror movie The Other? Yeah, with the twins.
It’s called The Other, it’s about the good twin, bad twin. I was the good twin.
That came out in like, the late ’70s.
1973. No one knew who the hell I was. Well it only requires a wig.
I was running around screaming, “Holland, where’s the baby?” ‘Cause the bad twin killed the baby. (audience laughs)
And everyone was like, “Who the hell are you?” I’m like, “I’m Niles, where’s the baby?” It was sick, and then, that’s them. So that’s before you got really creative? Oh, no, I was way ahead of my time. Okay.
I always like to do things that no one knows what the frick I’m talking about. So, but you’re not dressing up this year? No, I’m not gonna do that, no, I stay home. My husband decorates the house, and I kind of just stay in. Yeah, we have candles, and haunted houses. I like that stuff, but I don’t want to go out. It’s too crazy. I’m surprised, I would picture you for being the type to go to like, the Heidi Klum Holiday Party. Oh, no, oh, no.
Or the Bette Midler Halloween Party.
That’s not me. I went to that once when I was invited, yeah, I did. (audience laughs)
But that’s a benefit. Well, I was invited once. Look, you’re not gonna crash, and be like, “How come I’m not invited this year, bitch, what happened?” (audience laughs)
(audience applause) You know, I go when I’m invited. But, sometimes I’m not invited, and I stay. I’m very happy not to be invited, I like staying home, I like my down time.
I like home, too. I do, I do.
You need a cat. (audience applause)
Oh, you have a cat now, huh? Two.
You have two cats? Mm hm.
What are their name, Pussy and Whiskers? What’s their name? My Way.
My Way? My Life, My Way. My Life, and My Way?
(audience awes) My Way, and Chit Chat! Oh, My Way and Chit Chat. Yeah, they’re sisters from the same litter. I adopted them. Look, you have to go, they’re giving me the sign. Oh, no, I can’t go!
Look, did you bring me some of your famous banana bread? I did, it’s back stage.
Perfect! Mario Cantone, everybody.
(audience cheers) Make sure you check him out at the Cafe Carlyle, and Ask Wendy is next. (audience cheers)
(peppy pop music) (audience whooping) (audience cheers)
(upbeat pop music) (audience whooping)
Alright, welcome back. It’s time for Ask Wendy, everybody have a seat except for you, come on over, how you doing? How you doing? Hi, Wendy! Oh, my gosh, you’re blushing! (audience laughs)
My cheeks are always red. Around they?
Naturally blushed. It’s so cute!
Thank you. They’ll keep you youthful!
Thank you. What’s your name, where you from? My name is Anthony, I’m 26. I’m from East Hanover, New Jersey. Okay, Anthony.
How you doing? How you doing? Of course.
So, Wendy, I have a lifelong friend who has recently been saying some problematic things, and they’re actually kind of deal breakers.
Oh, okay. So, she’s a very aggressive, very strong-minded, which I love about her, but how do I approach a sensitive conversation with her even though she’s so aggressive and strong-minded? I don’t know who would be mean to you, (audience laughs)
your delivery is so, it’s adorable!
Thank you. Now, what do you want to approach her about? Be specific. These things, Wendy, I can’t say on daytime television. (audience oohs) Ad lib.
They are not, (hums)– Ad lib, don’t get us canceled. (audience laughs)
You know, some things that made me almost drive my car off the road, and I almost kicked her out, (audience oohs)
but I didn’t, ’cause I’m nice. But, I really need to have this one-on-one with her, I’m going to do it, I just don’t know how to approach her. Revisit it on Friday after a glass of pino. Mm, I’m a chardonnay gal, but we’ll do that. (audience laughs) (audience applause)
Thank you, Wendy. Do you understand?
I understand. And just the two of you, you don’t need witnesses to the crime scene.
Oh I don’t want anyone else. And not out, do it inside, either her house or your house. Ooh, love that.
Okay, and do it earlier, like 6:00 in the evening.
Ooh, okay. So, therefore you all can fight it out till midnight, and be home by the 1:00 a.m. news. (audience laughs)
Thank you, next. Okay?
Thank you, Wendy. Very well.
(audience applause) Oh, I see! How you doing? Uh huh, shirts popping, and so are the kicks. (audience laughs)
I’m trying, I’m trying. How you doing? I’m doing good, Wendy. My name is Natasha, I’m from Detroit. Okay. And, I have a friend, we’ve been friends for over 30 years.
Okay, uh oh. And we haven’t talked within a year because I had a birthday gathering last year, and I invited her ex-husband.
Wait, how old are you, how old are you, how old are you? I’m 42, just turned 42 yesterday! Okay, so, congratulations!
(audience cheers) Happy birthday!
Thank you. So, you’ve been friend with her since you were 12, you haven’t spoken to her in over a year. You had a birthday the other day, and you invited her ex-husband. Last year, so last October, I had a birthday and invited her ex-husband. (audience oohs)
Why’d you do that? Well, so Wendy, her ex-husband is my current boyfriend’s good friend, that’s how me and my boyfriend actually met. Damn. So, it was kind of said that I was wrong for not informing her that he was coming. Yeah.
However, they both moved on, Wendy.
And she came? She came.
And was she looking great? Yeah, she was with her dude, Wendy, so– Okay, so she’s moved on.
She’s moved on. Alright. But, I have not talked to her since, and I’m just trying to figure out was I wrong? Should I have informed her? Should I apologize? You should’ve informed her, you should apologize, and even though she was with her guy, er guy was probably the one who said, “Now, wait a minute, this is your ex-man here? Well, then, you know what? You can’t mess around with Natasha anymore.” But Wendy, her ex-husband and my boyfriend is good friends, so we can’t never have them make engagements together? No.
Oh. (audience grumbles) We went over this I think late last week on Ask Wendy, somebody asked me about that, and you know, I understand why you still want to be friends ’cause of your husband being friends with him, but this is the friend that you never mention to about the ex. You don’t invite him to the same things, and if you do, call ahead, and don’t expect her to show up. It’s girl code, okay?
Okay. (audience applause)
Alright. Thank you. More Ask Wendy is next. (upbeat pop music) (upbeat pop music)
(audience cheers) (audience whooping)
Alright, so we’re back with more Ask Wendy. Everyone have a seat except for you, come along, are you having a good time? Hi, yes, I am! Hi, Wendy, I’m Lauren from Nashville. How you doing?
Hi, Lauren, I like your lipstick.
Thank you. So, how can I help? So, I have a friend who is pregnant with her second child in two years, and wait for it, it’s the father’s 11th kid. (audience grumbles loudly)
Yes. And, she thinks this kid is finally gonna make her happy. You’re gonna stop right now, Lauren. (audience laughs)
Now, how old is your friend? She’s 30.
Okay, so she’s involved with a man who already has–
Not involved, not involved.
Oh, he just impregnated her? Mm hm, twice, and she says, “He got me again.” (audience members laugh)
Whoa! Okay, Lauren, were they ever married? No.
Okay, how long was she with him before they had their first child together, which would’ve been his 10th? This is probably too much, it was a quickie. (audience grumbles) Okay, okay.
I’m so sorry. (audience laughs)
So, it was never a real relationship? No, no, it isn’t.
Okay, and so then, he quicked by again, and now he’s expecting his 11th, and she’s expecting her second by him, and she’s only 30? Mm hm.
Where we going with this conversation? Well, so I think it’s extremely messy. I’ve stepped back, I’ve kind of taken a step back from her. Does she work?
Yeah, she’s a teacher. Yeah, this is gonna be difficult. Well, who taught her? (audience laughs)
(audience applause) Yeah, so, well my question is I recently got the baby shower invitation. Uh uh, we’re not going. (audience agrees)
There we go. We’re not going, and we’re not giving gifts. I don’t support the situation– Nor do I.
So I don’t know if I should do that. (audience grumbles)
No, no! Okay, and this is my opinion, and them I’m gonna ask the co-host, I’m not going, and I’m not giving a gift. I agree.
And if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, than good luck with your two children, and the eight other steps, or nine other steps, okay? Or whatever they are.
Yes ma’am. Okay, co-host, clap if Lauren needs to go and give a gift. (light applause) Majority rules, you stay home. (audience cheers) Top that! How you doing?
How you doing, Wendy? Good! My name is Monica, I’m 20–
11 kids. Yes, that’s a lot.
Damn! (audience laughs)
Does he have a good job? No, he’s heading to jail soon. What? Oh wait, no, hold hold! What’s your name? Monica.
Alright, Monica wait, come over here, please. (audience laughs) Spilling the tea.
What’s he going to jail for? Some illegal things.
(audience grumbles) Okay, okay, and he’s going to jail? Mm hm.
Okay, you’re definitely not going to that shower. (audience laughs)
Come along, Monica. How can I help you, dear? I’m 21, and I’m about to graduate law school. Okay, good for you!
(audience cheers) Yeah! So, I went to my Career Advisor to ask her some advice about potential jobs post-graduation– Okay. A lot of them are haters.
And she talked me, let me tell you. (chuckles)
Okay. She told me to not apply for certain jobs. See?
And then, she even went a little bit further, and she told me I should consider losing some weight, and going to the gym, and–
(audience grumbles) You got fat shamed by a Career Advisor? (audience member laughs)
(audience grumbles) Look, I was shamed by my Guidance Counselor and Career Advisors.
Yes! I literally had to crawl my way to the purple chair, so what is your question to me? So, should I confront her, or go to the dean, or just let it go?
No, you know what you do? You go out in the world, you make your mark on the world, (audience applause)
and you go back to that same woman, and you rub it all in her face. Thank you, Wendy.
You’re very welcome, Monica. Thank you. (audience cheers)
Up next, a special breast cancer Eye Candy, don’t go far. (upbeat pop music)
(audience whooping) (audience cheers)
(upbeat pop music) (audience whooping) Like, literally, when I called you out during hot Topics, I had no idea that you would actually be my Eye Candy. I am so honored to be your Eye Candy today, I can’t even tell you, I’m so excited.
But, no, you stuck out. I know, you didn’t even know I was the Eye Candy– No!
And you called me out. I love that. (laughs)
Yeah, I’m doing Hot Topics, but I’m always looking around the audience, and thinking about a grocery list, and what I’m gonna watch on TV.
(audience laughing) I’ve got a million things. So, what is your name? My name is Melissa Berry. Melissa Berry, everybody, and look. This is October, it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and you’re a survivor!
I’m a survivor, thank you, (audience cheers)
thank you so much. Where were you when you found out? I was actually at my doctor’s office when I found out. I was just going for a routine mammogram, there was a lot of breast cancer in my family, so when I was 32, my mom basically made me go to get a BRCA Test, and I tested positive. A BRCA Test?
Yeah. At 32?
And then, I tried to live the healthy lifestyle, and still 10 years later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And I have two daughters. I ended up the aggressive chemotherapy and surgery. And then, through treatment, my friends and family were amazing, and they really kept me strong, and I ended up starting a blog called Cancer Fashionista, and now I help lift other women up who have breast cancer. Well, you clearly are a fashionista! (audience cheers)
Look, Melissa, there’s your diva fan, and we’re also gonna give you a $300 gift card, you can spend this wherever you want.
My god, thank you so much! Oh, my god!
Congratulations, you’re a survivor!
(audience cheers) We’ll be right back, everyone.
Thank you so much! (upbeat pop music) Uh oh, I’m catching feelings. (audience awes)
The star next week, you today, I love you for watching. I’ll see you next time on Wendy, bye! (audience cheers) (vibrating metal)