Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Explains Trump's Win



MY NEXT GUEST IS AN OLD FRIEND
AND VETERAN OF THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, AND A TOY ROTWIELLER. PLEASE WELCOME TRIUMPH THE
INSULT COMIC DOG. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. >> THANK YOU, IT'S GREAT TO BE
HERE. SEXY KITTY! >> Stephen: YOU DO A VERY SEXY
KITTY CAT. >> THANK YOU. >> Stephen: DOES IT FEEL GOOD? >> IT FEELS BETTER. IT FEELS BETTER. ONE MORE THING. OKAY, OKAY. NOW, I'M GOOD. NOW, I'M REALLY GOOD. >> Stephen: TRIUMPH. >> YES. >> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT YOUR–
YOU ARE HERE IN SUMMIT OF THE TRIUMPH ELECTION WATCH 2016. >> YES. >> Stephen: YOUR COVERAGE–
>> EMMY NOMINATED. >> Stephen: EMMY-NOMINATED
EXAEM. ARE YOU GOING TO WIN? >> NO, NO, IT ALREADY HAPPENED. THE EMMYS. >> Stephen: SORRY. >> YOU'RE JUST PRETENDING IT
DIDN'T HAPPEN. >> Stephen: IF I'M NOT
NOMINATED, I DON'T CARE. ALL RIGHT. IT'S ON HULU, RIGHT? >> IT'S ON HULU. AND LOOK HOW BIG I AM. I MADE THE COVER OF THE "NEW
YORK TIMES" TODAY. >> Stephen: YOU ARE ON THE
COVER OF THE "NEW YORK TIMES" TODAY. WE HAVE IT REET HERE. >> TRIUMPH! TRIUMPH! RIGHT THERE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: THAT'S– THAT'S–
THAT'S REALLY ABOUT TRUMP, YOU KNOW. >> LOOK —
>> AND IT'S SOAKING, WET, TRIUMPH. >> DON'T MIND THE PEE-PEE. THAT'S NOT DIRECTED TOWARDS
TRUMP. I JUST WANTED TO PEE ON THE "NEW
YORK TIMES" BEFORE TRUMP KNOCKS IT OUT OF BUSINESS. >> Stephen: ANOTHER NOW
YOU'VE– >> VERY ABSORBENT. >> Stephen: COVERING ELECTIONS
FOR YEARS. >> YES. >> Stephen: WHY DID THE PEOPLE
IN THE MEDIA NOT SEE THIS ONE COMING? >> LIKE YOURSELF, THE ELITISTS. >> Stephen: OKAY. >> IT'S THE ELITISTS THAT
DOESN'T DNT SEE IT. YOU UNDERESTIMATED TRUMP. FOLKS, IT TURNS OUT DONALD
TRUMP, ONLY DONALD TRUMP WAS IN TOUCH WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. THOUGH, MOST OF THEM AGAINST
THEIR WILL. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SO, YOU'RE SAYING
WE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND– WE– >> YOU UNDERESTIMATED THE TRUMP. YOU UNDERESTIMATED THE VOTERS. YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ARE BLAMING THE
ELECTION ON VOTERS BEING STUPID. CAN WHICH I THINK IS VERY UNFAIR
TO THE RACISTS. ( RIM SHOT )
YOU ELITISTS, YOU NEED TO GO OUT, GO OUT AND SEE THE REAL
AMERICA. I HEAR THE METH IS AMAZING! ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO– >> I MEAN, IT HAS TO BE. LOOK WHO THEY VOTED FOR! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: SO, BUT ALL THE POLLSTERS, OKAY– IT WASN'T
JUST– IT WASN'T JUST PUNDITS. IT WAS LIKE, THERE WERE PEOPLE
WITH SCIENCE. WHAT ABOUT THE POLLSTERS. >> OH, MY GOD, LISTEN, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITHINATE SILVER. I DON'T WANT TO SAY FIVE 38 IS
FLAWED BUT THEY HAVE HILLARY'S CHANCES AT 34% PUT BUT DON'T
WORRY. >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK
THEY'LL BE ABLE TO IMPROVE THEIR MODEL NEXT TIME? >> YES, THEY'VE COME UP WITH A
PLAN TO FIX THEIR PROBLEM. THEY'RE UPPING THEIR MARGIN OF
ERROR TO 100%. ( RIM SHOT ). >> Stephen: OKAY, SO, WHY– SO
WHY DID CLINTON LOSE, SPECIFICALLY? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY SHE
LOST? >> BECAUSE HILLARY, IT'S–
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HER– THE SOUND OF HER VOICE. IT'S NOT THAT. HILLARY DIDN'T HAVE AN ISSUE. SHE RAN ON NOTHING. BUT, MEANWHILE, DONALD TRUMP HAD
A CLEAR MESSAGE. "I HAVE A HAT. WON'T YOU YOU JOIN ME AND MY
HAT?" ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY. >> IT'S A RED HAT. FOR GOD'S SAKE. IT'S A RED HAT! >> Stephen: WHAT CAN WE
EXPECT? OPEN YOUR MOUTH–
>> YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL BAD FOR. >> Stephen: WHO? >> I FEEL BAD FOR POOR TIM
KAINE. YOU KNOW, ALL SUMMER HE'S BEEN
FORCED TO TALK IN SPANISH. SO MUCH DURING THE CAMPAIGN, YOU
KNOW, IT'S A FACT. HE CAN NO LONGER SPEAK UNTIL
SOMEONE PRESSES THE NUMBER 2 ON THEIR PHONE. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( RIM SHOT
SHOT )JUDGE. >> FROM YOUR VANTAGE POINT, WHAT
CAN WE EXPECT FROM PRESIDENT TRUMP? >> I WANT TO BE OPTIMISTIC. DON'T YOU THINK HE CAN DO WHAT
HE PROMISED AND RETURN US TO A BETTER TIME, LIKE YESTERDAY
AFTERNOON? ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ( RIM SHOT )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NO, IT'S GOING TO BE EXCITING? REALLY, IN WHAT WAY? HOW IS IT GOING TO BE EXCITING? >> WE FINALLY GET TO SEE
DONALDDONALD'S PLAN TO DESTROY I WHICH I ASSUME IS TO BUY IT AND
TRUN LIKE ONE OF HIS CASINOS. ( RIM SHOT )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: YOU REALLY THINK
HE CAN BE TRUSTED AS COMMANDER IN CHIEF? >> OH, PLEASE! ALL THIS EVERYONE WORRIED. HE'S A MAD MAN! HE'S DONALD TRUMP UP AND KNOW
WHAT? IF THERE'S ANY CONSOLATION,
FOLKS, THE FINGER ON THE BUTTON IS GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY
TINY. ( LAUGHTER )
SO HE MIGHT MISS IT. HE'LL MISS IT OR HAVE TO PEREZ
IT S SO MANY TIMES HE'LL JUST GI UP. "OH, THIS BUTTON, SCREW IT!"
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT CABINET RUMORS? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHO WILL FILL HIS CABINET. >> BIG CABINET RUMORS. NO WORD YET ABOUT CHRIS CHRISTIE
IF HE WILL HAVE A JOB. BUT TRUMP ANNOUNCED THE CREATION
OF A NEW CABINET CALLED "SECRETARY, ARE YOU GOING TO
FINISH THAT?" I THINK CHRISTIE IS GOING TO BE
A HIGH-RANKING CABINET MEMBER, OR HE'LL BE THE WALL. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) TRIUMPH'S ELECTION WATCH 2016 IS
ON HULU. TRIUMPH, EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

43 thoughts on “Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Explains Trump's Win

  1. Colbert is a faggy twat who has spent all his life aimlessly and meaninglessly delivering weak jokes and asslicking lying democrats. quite amazing

  2. Reminds me of Black Mirror's "The Waldo Moment" when a cartoon bear becames a president. Triumph, please, take over the world!

  3. It is now 2 May 2018. It is still funny in a way that a human persona could never be. It is also still very "sad". If Triumph had appeared on last nights show instead of his human, he could have done the same routine and it would have been only a little less pertinent.

  4. They'll be talking about this huge landmark win for YEARS fuck liberals and fuck the Democratic Party in the ass with a dirty screw driver!

  5. The country votes for Obama and America has embraced unity. The country votes for a Republican and the entire country is fucking racist again. Fucking libtards….

  6. I like his plan on how to destroy ISIS . Trump will buy ISIS, then run it like one of his Casinos !!!!!!!!!!!

  7. 11 months later and the left is still batshit crazy that Trump won. You still don't know why. I love it. It's delicious!

  8. Poor triumph…. Screwed by the liberals. I know Smigel. He is a decent Trump supporter. He is secretly a Trump guy. It's awful how hollywood pressures him to go left extreme. He talks about the oppression of the left gay agenda. He has no choice to make a living. Hang in there Rob.
    Your friend,
    J

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