– All right, next! – Ohh, my name is Clifton and I’m here to
audition for Cats! – Great, great, do you
have any experience acting? – Oh, I can act silly! – Fantastic, why don’t you
do something silly for us? – All right, I– (farts) – [Both] Uggh! – Hey!
– What the (bleep) was that!? – I did a Spray and Hey. – Are there any
other cat abilities you can bring to the screen? – I, hmm, I go… I do drugs.
– Does your cat do that? – I don’t think
any cats do that. Do you have any
other cat abilities? – I take the bus.
– Not a cat thing. – I watch pornos. – That’s a human thing.
– That’s people. – I hit kids in the face. – Hmm, well, I guess
cats do that, yeah. – Oh! I don’t hit kids, but to get
this part, I might start. – Well, I think we’ve
seen what we need to see. – Yup, thank you so
much for your time. – Oh, no, you can
have more of my time. Let’s cut to a video clip that showcases my kitty skills. – [Both] Oh, no, no,
that’s okay! (hisses) – Hello! And if you’re watching
this right now, that means I probably didn’t
do a very good audition. Please come with me
while I prove to you why I’m the best cat. People like me for
my carefree attitude. I don’t care. If I have eight nipples,
why do I drink so much milk? – [Man] How come you’re
wearing a collar? – Because I’m not a nudist! Look how good of a mood
I’m in while I fece! (bleep) turds! What is furry and why do these little Chinese children
keep calling me this? This one was a praline! They’re always good
for an extra round. Oooh, I love cat people. They like to get hurt. – [Man] Do you ever
talk to your family? – Oh, they can talk to each
other during their next orgy. – [Man] Orgy? – Where multiple
people have sex. – [Man] No, I know
what an orgy is. I didn’t realize your family– – I don’t usually
watch pornography but that movie with
the talking lions nearly made me (bleep)
– Watch out, watch out! – In conclusion, it’s
time to stop the video and talk about how
much you like me! So what did you think? – We couldn’t hear or see
any of that from here. (bleep)! (whispering) – Actually, we are
casting another role. – Are you twisting my tits? I play the lead
role as the janitor, but the jokes on them because they don’t know
I’ve been snacking.