Rage Quit – Cat Mario | Rooster Teeth


*SWOOSH* *Oddly Soothing Piano Music* This lovely looking game is Cat Mare-io. I’m gonna fuckin’ play it because for two years people have been telling me to play Cat Marr-io, so I’ma play the fucking CAT Mare-iO I guess it’s like Mario BUT LOOK WAIT THERE’S A TWIST! IT’S A FUCKIN’ CAT Gonna assume this is the start Alright… Stage One: this thing! I have three cats… I should have nine, I feel like they fucked up that right in the beginning First thing, slight…OH SHIT How do I jump? Jesus Christ. Okay. It’s all arrow keys bitches. All arrow keys Look it I just annihilated these fuckers off the WHAT THE FUCK? Do you wanna go back down? Can I jump? …back d…NO ALRIGHT This fuckin’ cat’s goin’ down some pipes OR NOT OR I’M GOIN’ TO FUCKIN’ OUTER SPACE REALLY? I’m fuckin dead?! *yelling intensifies*
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Can I run? Does that help? Nope. I don’t think I can sprint. There’s no sprinting. I’m a slow ass, fuckin’ cat. Oh mind the gap bitch… OH MY GOD! JESUS CHRIST! I GOT FUCKIN’ CRUSHED TO DEATH! Mushroom. Guy’s head. Boom. Eat the fucking mushroom. Didn’t do anything, I’m still the exact same size SWEET. Oh nice we got a fuckin’ cool guy star here And it fuckin’ murders you… I dunno why I didn’t think that it wouldn’t do that. What is this thing? It’s like a…It’s like a mix between like a koopa and a fuckin’ Roomba© is it, it’s like vacuuming the floor. I’m gonna murder it. You’re dead you fuckin’ bitch. HOLY SHIT! COME ON! *concerned*
What…Who’s cat is this by the way? *existentially*
Who is this? What is…OH you fucking fu…oh my god. I thought you fucked me but then you didn’t. Okay. AND THEN YOU PFFFFT *Annoyed*
WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO HERE? Uhhhh hey guys, you know, I’m just gonna fuckin’ hang out…uhhhh in…in this prison FOREVER I GUESS! Can I kill myself? Is there a suicide button? I’m trapped. I’m…fucking trapped. *defeated*
I’m hitting every key. *more defeated*
That’s…all four of them. *even more defeated*
All four directions… I can’t even restart There’s no reset button. Right? Like most of these shitty flash games Have like the, the ‘R’ is a reset NOPE. Hit ‘Escape’? NOPE. Nothin’ ALL THERE IS ARE THE ARROW KEYS THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO… There’s no…
*intense yelling* I GOTTA DO THAT?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I WAS IN THAT HOLE FOR LIKE EIGHT MINUTES AND I RAN ACROSS THAT FUCKIN’ THING. I GOTTA GENTLY CRAWL… TO MY DEATH?! Fuckin’ 1-1 I’m gonna die OH MY GOD Jesus Christ I FUCKING FELL TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH AGAIN. I JUST I JUST FUCKING KILLED MYSELF I just jumped into my own fucking pit of death. *Michael Levels Increasing*
You…fucking…son of a bitch. Fuckin’ over the stupid thing. I can’t do it. I…I can’t do it. I’m really glad this game gives you infinite lives… So you’ll never stop playing this shit…I did it again *mounting anger*
I can’t get past this. I CAN’T GET PAST THI- I CAN’T GET FUCKING PAST 1-1! I like how every time you get caught here too, you have to kill yourself. It’s not even like you fuckin’ die. You got trapped, and now must commit suicide. I…I gotta jump UP and OVER *chokes on rage* *MICHAEL TIME*
HOW DID I STILL FALL THROUGH?!? *angry sigh* This, this is it. This is the whole video. This is it. *yes it is* *OVER 9000 MICHAEL*
WHY DO YOU JUMP LIKE YOU’RE ON THE FUCKIN’ MOON?!?! Now, assuming nothing else will fuck me I will jump to freedom onto the pipe. Thank Christ you fucking bitch. Go in the thing. Can I go in this thing? Nope. Never mind the game says no. COME ON!! You dropped four guys on me. Four in a row. Four in a row. On the pipe. Over these bitches, don’t give a shit. *Caps Lock irl*
THE FUCKING CLOUD KILLED ME?! GOD DAMN IT. I’m in the fucking stairs. I’M IN THE FUCKING STAIRS. I’m out of the stairs. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m outta the stairs. Can I beat the level? There’s laser beams. I dodged the laser beam and I beat the fuckin’ level. 1-1 done. NOPE! NOPE! Under this fuckin’ thing. Over the fuckin pipe. Dodge the fucking idiots. Whenever they fall NOPE just stand there. Just stand there and die. Over all these smiley bitches. Fuck you bitches! There’s a fucking laser beam somewhere. And I ate it. I ate the fucking laser beam. I…I’M GLAD I POINTED IT OUT AS IT FUCKING MURDERED ME AND PIERCED MY FUCKING HEART. This isn’t even like Cat Mario. This is like “I Wanna Be The Cat.” We should’ve just called it that. It’s the same fuckin’ thing: EVERYTHING FUCKS YOUR ASSHOLE APART ON EVERY FUCKIN’ SCREEN. Somehow I have to dodge here…Can I dodge? I can’t dodge. I can’t…I…There’s nothing I can do, So now I guess I have to jump over the fucking pole, because I automatically walk to my own death. THAT’S YOUR REWARD FOR BEATING THE LEVEL. *sarcastically*
“This is great! Michael play Cat Mario!” ‘It’s amazing!” “You’ll get to 1-1!” “And we’ll watch that!” “And nothing else…” “Cause you’ll never fucking beat it.” HYYYYUUUUUUGGGHHHHH Oh my god I’m dead. I just killed myself. Watch…I’m gonna watch myself die. Did you see it? Did you see how I died? We’re goin’ over. Ready? We’re goin’ over it! *HEAVY BREATHING* *Stop. Michael Time*
GOD DAMNIT. FUCK. *some pretty dope music plays while you see other bideos*

100 thoughts on “Rage Quit – Cat Mario | Rooster Teeth

  1. The farthest I got in this game was stage 2, but I dided when the blocks fall before you run before them… So mad at that, still haven't beaten it…

  2. I just found where to play this game, and I wasn't prepared for the fact it's playing Cheetahmen music instead of Mario music. Yeah, the Cheetahmen music from freakin' Action 52.

  3. I've actually beaten the first level of Cat Mario, it's pretty easy if you know all the trolls and time your jumps right

  4. Us watching this in middle school: Wow he is super angry!

    Us watching this now:
    This is me with insert anything super stressful

  5. Screaming moments
    1- 0:48
    2- 0:58
    3- 1:24
    4- 1:30
    5- 2:10
    6- 2:24
    7- 2:34
    8- 2:49
    9- 3:04
    10- 3:17
    11- 3:35
    12- 3:44
    13- 4:01
    14- 5:08

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