Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences



what is the difference between a sociopath a psychopath and a narcissist here to answer this intense question is a doctoral Romani help us out here well it's you know again there's a lot of overlap but the fact is a lot of people are using these terms interchangeably and should they being a pad they say no you shouldn't they're different things okay one rule of thumb to remember right off the bat that every psychopath is narcissistic but not every narcissist is psychopathic make sense there's your key difference a narcissist to somebody who lacks empathy his grandiose is entitled is constantly seeking validation is arrogant it's a disorder of self-esteem and they have trouble regulating their self-esteem but when a narcissist does a bad thing they feel a fair amount of guilt and shame more shame than guilt frankly because they're concerned about how other people view them shame is a public emotion so they don't like being viewed negatively in the public eye or by other people that's where the shame comes from but they'll feel a little bit like if they cheat on their wife I probably shouldn't have done that yeah psychopaths a different animal they're all of those things except no guilt no shame they don't feel remorse when they do something bad so they're they're great serial killers hired assassins people who are gonna go in and literally sort of gut a business these are your guys they're like I don't I don't care who gets hurt they'd say that and they admit it okay where Narcis is like I hope no one gets hurt okay the difference between the psychopath and the sociopath is the one where most people get confused because the sociopath is a lot like the psychopath they do bad things and they don't care okay here's the key difference a psychopath is born and a sociopath is made hmm okay that's the key so a psychopath in fact we know in the research on psychopathy which has also been called antisocial personality disorder in our diagnostic manual these are people who are actually believed to have slightly different autonomic nerve systems our autonomic nervous system is actually that part that holds our sympathetic nervous system which is our fight-or-flight system so when our autonomic nervous system for a normal person gets charged up which it would if we broke a rule if we did something embarrassing or rude if we ran through a red light our heart starts racing we sweat our pupils get wide we look around because we're afraid of the consequence a psychopath doesn't have that same kind of arousal that's why they're able to lie on lie-detector tests that's how they get away with it they don't have that same kind of arousal so where you or I may go on a roller coaster feel that sense of excitement we need to get that arousal in a good way we don't like feeling it when we do something wrong they don't feel it so do they get stressed no not in the same way so if they're driving mm-hmm because if I'm driving and I see police sirens coming behind me I mean it is a full-on oh my gosh I can't believe I'm gonna get pulled over at but a psychopath would see that and go I'm gonna get pulled over well this could be they could have a dead body in the trunk and they wouldn't they would Jan so they pull over they get the ticket and they don't care yeah they don't care and they pay the ticket if anybody not they'll even probably get an attorney to get him off or say yeah you know my understanding are your state laws is you can't really be doing this and they'll be cool and this is this is a difference in their they're actually making darvis systems are wired and their brains are there's actually been interesting research done with PET scans where you can see brain function and whatnot just a clarification not pet like dogs and that's how you get on emission tomography scans of the brain which show brain functioning if you will and what they see is that the the section of the brain that serves empathy that doesn't naturally light up in them and you can actually teach them to be empathic for a minute but it doesn't last a lot of psychopaths who commit violent crimes end up in jail and the ones who commit more like white-collar crimes I guess they end up as multi-billionaires because they're willing to do really really rough stuff in their business and get through a like a cartel leader or something like that call for the killings of other people now they're interesting counterpart are the sociopaths Psychopaths born they tended that their belief is that they may very well have this might be genetic in fact Psychopaths often have fathers who have lots of antisocial tendencies now how much of it is learned how much of it is genetic it's a little bit harder to suss out but we do see that there is that difference in your true Psychopaths they also tend to be have really glib shallow charm it tend to be really intelligent that's why they get away with selfish things so they've learned behavior to assimilate into society oh yeah but there's it's all a facade it's all I've thought they're so charming so if they're born this way would a three-year-old then not get stressed out if it got scared that's incredible so what we see when we diagnose antisocial personality disorder which is sort of our diagnostic equivalent to being a psychopath in order to get that diagnosis you have to have shown a pattern prior to the age of 15 of things like truancy violence towards other kids stealing skipping school and not felt bad about us setting fires they just do it they don't care and that before the age of 15 so it's a long-standing pattern that's what makes us call them a psychopath or having antisocial personality now this is different than sociopathy yes okay sociopathy they look a lot like the psychopath the difference is they were made so this some examples here the kid who grows up in a really really really really rough neighborhood and learns criminality to get by or learns to be a bully or like you know gets involved with sort of like the wrong kids and uses a lot of muscle because that survivalism but they it's not necessarily always comfortable for them they just learn it it's the person who grows up with a father who teaches them of the business and teaches them how to break the rules they he me but they they don't they would they feel when they start sweating and have their heart race if they got pulled over they may not feel so good about they'll be a little bit more uncomfortable with it but in time they learn it and that that what it's almost like they they get trained in not being as aroused by it listen if you broke enough rules if you lived under certain conditions of lawlessness long enough you'd adjust to that new world or the sociopath doom and so there the person who someone who said he was actually a great kid until he got to high school and then it seems like he got in with the wrong kids that feels more like the sociopath okay that's almost like a training that might happen from within the family within their community with isn't even the job they get some cases even within some form of military training have you had sociopaths and Psychopaths as clients they don't tend to come in for therapy they don't see any benefit to it the only time you would tend to see Psychopaths or sociopaths come into therapy with any consistency is if they were a court order so I thought you were gonna say couples therapy no God no no no it's because they're court-ordered so the judge will make that a condition of release kind of thing or they're within prisons and jails and getting some treatment in there this is so incredibly fascinating to me if a psychopath goes to jail he isn't upset about going to jail in some ways it becomes a cost of doing business you know but it's also they know they're not happy about it there was Psychopaths and to some degree sociopaths don't think about consequences that's why they pull really penny-ante silly crimes like holding up a liquor store basically I need a hundred fifty bucks here's a liquor store it's open let's go get the money kind of thing so it's like they act first and think later so they often don't plan in terms of consequences that's why they have a tendency to lie cheat steal and they tend to very inconsistent work histories because they they're not able to hold a job yeah aliases it's definitely like it's more of a grifter II kind of a space so we've talked in previous videos about how to cope while dating a narcissist if you find yourself dating a sociopath or a psychopath is there any coping or you just got to get out you're in trouble it could be actually being very dangerous or sounds like yeah in fact you know we and into even with the narcissistic piece I do I've done research and work in the area of domestic violence or what's also called intimate partner violence most people who perpetrate domestic violence are either narcissus dick or a psychopathic and so so there's a danger there in other words they will dispose of you if you get in their way I want to share a story with you to get your feedback this was told to me by a friend and she said in college she dated a guy for a year but the guy started to get just a little weird and they broke up for the next year he courted her and did everything she wished he had done the first year showed up on time brought her gifts blah blah blah they started dating again he was perfect for a year he they went to Thanksgiving at her family's house he was perfect to her parents just became the perfect man for her because he knew what she wanted and after a year on their one-year anniversary he broke up with her and said I've been playing you this whole time because I wanted to crush your heart yep I think I am not actually behaving this way all right this isn't real I've been faking it for a year just so I can crush you would that be a psycho psychopathic psycho that's more psychopathic you know or sociopathic is more likely you know but if they have no empathy then why would they want to hurt somebody because because empathy empathy is not a and B is a positive emotion okay wanting to hurt someone is a very antagonistic emotion why need to hurt someone at some level might even give them a little pleasure power for sure it's it's interesting to me that someone cannot be empathetic but then want to hurt somebody because to me you would have to have the empathy in order to even know what it's like to hurt somebody it's the difference between empathy and understanding you understand what because you know it's like that's why I cycle that makes every salesman because they understand the purse they can read a person and immediately say I got his vulnerability I'm gonna make him buy a car psychopaths are great salesmen some salesman for of cars timeshares all that all that stuff were there upselling and almost taking advantage of someone sometimes making them take on more money and cost of something than they really should but no no no it's that he was able to be superficially charming Psychopaths and sociopaths and narcissus make great chameleons they're definitely able to change the situation too get what they want and Psychopaths in particular and sociopaths are they they view the world as an instrument to fulfill their desires mmm that's really what they're about which is what it's awful because they're going to often discard a partner when they don't have much use for them or expect them to have a very specific role so they may have married her and she may have had their kids now she's gonna have to put up with their affairs because they want something else and too bad if you don't like it this is the New World Order and I will destroy you in court it's that kind of thing that is insane yeah it's chilling I want to leave it right there I have learned more about sociopaths and Psychopaths that I ever thought possible make sure you check out as well our discussion about narcissism with dr. Romani thanks again for being here for more information on all things mental health make sure you go to med circle com there you can curate your own list of your preferred mental health topics it will be delivered to you exactly when you need it i'm kyle Kittleson thanks for watching

30 thoughts on “Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences

  1. It would be great if people would stop demonizing mentally ill people. Just because someone is a psychopath doesn't mean that they're a killer

  2. 2:42 actually a new study indicates that sociopaths learned somehow how to turn there emotions on or off , more research is being done on this new study (frustratingly can't remember the specifics) 6:15 it seems like she doesn't know off this study but it explains what she is trying to say

  3. As a 39 year old male, I can only share what i grew up with and what caused me to go through emotional hell of a roller coast ride for 25+ years. I was born late to old parents in a hick town in 1979. My grandfather fought in the second world war and lost his nerves and was possibly a psychopath himself. As at that time, nobody knew of PTSD, or what great psychological trauma war has on the human mind. Back then in a North European Hick town what help was there to get?… It was "ok the war is over, you shot and killed people and watched your mates bleed to death and cry for mommy. Now get back to your cows and plow your fields!". And in my opinion the second world war affected 3 generations after it was over. Grandparents, Parents and us (their children). As i saw no love between my grandmother and grandfather at all while they were alive. My father never even visited them out of his own free will despite living across the road from them. It's just so much that is "weird".

    Growing up with my father was, when i look back at it now… Weird, awkward and strange to put it plainly. There was no sharing of love, no empathy, no remorse no normality or even morality in our family from my fathers side at all. When i left home at 19, he would come to my apartment and unlock the door and barge in screaming and yelling without showing any kind of respect for personal integrity or space. (I had trusted my parents with the spare key at that time which was a mistake). He never apologized for anything he did. When he was put up against the wall with 100% truth to face up too… He would start yelling and try to guilt trip us instead and eventually storm out the door and leave for a day or two hiding somewhere so we should feel sorry for him (yeah would show us whos the boss!). And he did this when he was in his late 50's.
    My mother passed away last year from a long struggle with COPD illness. And it grounded him somewhat. But now he is back to his usual ways of "i need to prove that i am best, life is a competition, i am better than everyone else!" and on it goes.

    I could write a whole book about my life growing up with this psychopath and the traumas and dilemmas it caused me to have in my adult life and how it twisted my reality. The only thing that i know will help, is that you have to cut off contact with said person. Either it is a parent, a sibling, a relative, a friend.
    All the symptoms that Dr. Ramani described are true. I lived with it for 25+ years.

    I see my father now once or twice a year at the most. From constantly feeling that i needed to ask him in the past, how he's doing, ask him if he wanted to come out for a bite to eat, ask him if he wanted to come watch a movie with me and try to get some kind of relationship going over the years in terms of a normal relationship between father and son. Nothing came of it. The end results were the same.
    Then i stopped doing it. And what mutual benefits were in return?… Does he care to visit? Does he care to call and ask how i am doing? Does he care to even write an E-Mail? Does he care to hangout and talk? Nope. Not even a whisper or a glimpse of him. Same as my grandmother asked of me when she was 92 years old living alone in their old house asking me, why he does not come to visit her and wondering what they ever did to him to not ever show himself.
    But that's the reality of this illness or i should say condition. If you feel or think that you have a relationship with an individual like this, then the best advice i can give, is to get out of it. Especially if you are in your mid years like me. Because believe me, you are not doing yourself any favors with trying to "change" them.

    The best thing to do is to focus on yourself and your own life. It is not your fault and it is not your guilt. Believe me once you separate from it, life is so good and as it should be.

    You are not alone <3

  4. He might be gay and gays are a little fun and habitually dramatic and don't even realize they are being this way. I think he's just like that. Dramatic.

  5. My ex was a psychopath
    .. that person mentally and physically tortured me.. gets my money … and leaved me mentally disturb
    And never feel remorse of what he did to me…

  6. She said on 7:50 that psychopaths don't plan their actions and that's why they tend to do silly crimes but I have read that what's what sociopaths do. Psychopaths are the ones who think a lot about what they are going to do. Could you sort this out for me? I find it's an important detail.

  7. She didn't mention that Psychopaths and Sociopaths have empathy, it's just cognitive empathy not emotional empathy. They can read emotions and others thoughts because of cognitive empathy but don't feel anything. People with Asperger's on the other hand can't read others emotions but have emotional empathy. That's why they suck socially but feel bad for other people if they hurt them.

  8. Wonder is it’s genetic. I know a family 4 generations of anti social disorder. The grandmother is a sociopath, the mother is a sociopath, the son is a narcissist, the daughter is a sociopath and now the grandchildren all have signs of anti social disorders

  9. This eyes bulging female psycho seems to think only fathers can be criminal and teach their kids criminal behavior. Typical low IQ insane leftist.

  10. f yea im a psycopath shit thats a long word hahaha. fuck mkultra fuck the cia with mkultra bitch fuck your remote reading mind solor sytstem computer criminal bullshit. schizophrenia and everything else like this this bulahit bitch comes up with is fake wouldnt care if i or someone else kill yu bitch

    kill every single bitch that relates to some illuminati dollar bill face white bitch

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