Living with a black dog



At leve med en sort hund – en guide til partnere, andre, der er tæt på, og dem, der lever med depression Hvad du ikke skal sige eller gøre. Måske har du ret, når du siger “Det er alt sammen inde i dit hoved!”, men sig det ikke. Lad de professionelle om det. “Mand dig op!” hjælper helt sikkert ikke Især ikke, hvis personen allerede er en mand.
Depression er en sygdom, ikke et tegn på svaghed. Vær ikke en lænestolsgeneral, der giver tilfældige råd og ordrer. Det skader aldrig at være betænksom og venlig. Lad være med at prøve at gøre personen glad. Det gør ofte det hele værre. Lad være med at sige, at der er andre, der har det meget værre end dem. Det får bare deres følelser af skyld og håbløshed til at vokse. Gode ting at sige og gøre. Tænk over, hvordan du nærmer dig emnet; mange er ikke vant til at tale om, hvordan de har det. At overskride den grænse betyder, at den anden betyder noget for dig. Prøv at tie stille Lad i stedet dine ører vokse og åbn dit hjerte At være der for nogen uden at mene noget eller dømme er en af de bedste gaver, du kan give. Prøv at opfordre personen til at få professionel hjælp. At hjælpe med at finde en god behandler, lave aftalen for personen og måske endda tilbyde at gå med, kan være rigtig godt. Prøv at opfordre til at dyrke motion. Måske kan I gøre det sammen At være aktiv gør hunden træt. Hjælp med at udvikle en strategi til at forenkle personens liv. Både derhjemme og på arbejde. Stress kan virkeligt holde gang i en depression. Mindre stress gør hunden mindre Få personen til at lave en ”bliv-væk-hund-kasse”. Hjælp med at fylde kassen med yndlingsbilleder, breve, hvad som helst, der minder om det gode i personens liv. Giv personen en “Hundedagbog”. Her kan personen skrive, hvordan han eller hun har det, anerkende fremgang, skrive om det, han eller hun er taknemmelig for og sæt realistiske mål. Se den sorte hund i øjnene Lov hinanden at gøre noget aktivt sammen for at komme af med den sorte hund En hund, der ikke bliver set i øjnene, kan blive et stort problem Find viden om tilstanden sammen; viden er magt, og anerkendelse heler At gøre fælles front er afgørende for at få den sorte hund væk Er du tæt på personen, er medfølelse empati og forståelse vitalt, men du skal vide, at du ikke selv har alle kræfterne til at redde din nærmeste. Professionel hjælp er ofte det, der skal til At finde den rigtige behandler kan gøre hele forskellen Hvis man skal fortælle nogen om sine problemer, skal det være en, man respekterer og føler sig tryg ved. Vær ikke bange for at gå til en professionel men følg ikke råd eller behandling, der ikke hjælper. ”Der er mange slags hjælp at hente.” Hvis det bliver foreslået, at du skal tage antidepressiv medicin, så gør dit hjemmearbejde. Opsøg viden og stil masser af spørgsmål En af de store hindringer for at søge professional hjælp er prisen. Hjælp personen med at indse, at prisen for IKKE at få hjælp kan være meget højere: Det kan koste parforhold, venskaber, job og endda livet Nogle simple regler, I bør have: Vær enige om, at der er en sort hund imellem jer, og måske ændrer ting sig i en periode Vær enige om, at ingen kan hjælpes, før de ønsker at hjælpe sig selv Lov at være skånsomme og respektfulde over for hinanden i denne tid. Lov at I taler med hinanden jævnligt. Lov at kommunikere ærligt og åbent. Bak op om, hvad behandleren mener, der skal gøres, og se jævnligt på, om det går nok fremad Sådan passer du på dig selv, hvis du er tæt på Det kan være svært ikke at tage vrede, kritik negativitet og handlingslammelse personligt. Lad være at gå med på det. Accepter, at det er hunden, der gør. Det er ikke den person, du hjælper. Hvis man ser for meget til en andens sorte hund kan den smitte. Elendighed elsker selskab, så prøv at lade være med at blive suget ned Det er virkelig vigtigt, at du lytter til dine egne behov, dine begrænsninger og sætter grænser Du kan bedre håndtere svære situationer, når du er rolig og til stede i nuet Yoga, meditation og mindfulness er gode værktøjer til at opnå ro og kontrol. Gå ind i en støttegruppe Der er ikke noget som at være sammen med andre, der forstår og deler hinandens historie Det er vigtigt at komme ud og gøre ting for dig selv og være sammen med venner. Måske kan vennerne ikke løse dine problemer, men de kan give en utrolig støtte, tryghed, kloge ord og latter. En sort hund i et hvilket som helst forhold kan være konfronterende, skræmmende og frustrerende. Men går man igennem det sammen, kan båndet blive tættere og bedre. Og til sidst: Det vigtigste ved denne rejse er hele tiden at minde hinanden om, at det går over det går over det går over Hvis du har en sort hund i dit liv, så få hjælp og bliv hjulpet og hold altid fast i håbet.

39 thoughts on “Living with a black dog

  1. I've been in a relationship with a person carrying the "black dog" for just over 3 months now. I must admit, it's been hard: I myself struggle with the feeling that I'm not loved by this person, and that they don't want to talk to me or spend time with me because they hate me. I've learned that that isn't the case: her depression is incredibly strong, she's had quite a rough life (she was adopted which contributed a lot to her depression.) In fact, it's her depression which has made her act in that way. I know she loves me, and to anyone else who's in a similar situation with their partner, people with depression need you the most, and they will remain loyal because you mean everything to them. That extra bit of help you give them is going to mean everything to them. The last point on this video is incredibly important: "don't give up".

  2. I got this depression everyday for 10 years until now, please pray for me 🙁 . I know I am strong for staying alive this far but i don't know when will these all end 🙁

  3. Thank you for this video. When I saw the name of this video I was shocked and thought you saw the inside of my mind because the night before I tried to take my own life I actually saw a black hound and although I knew this was one of my hallucinations it scared me and I ran to my room crying uncontrollably. I will ensure my husband watches this video because I want him to understand what I am going through and also because I have shut him out for a longtime although I knew he deserved none of this. It is usally the people closest to us that are more affected by such situations as did my husband because at some point it starts to rub off on them too, not knowing how to deal with it. I love my husband and don't want him to suffer because of my black dog. All I want is my life back.

  4. … AND HAVE YOUR BLOOD WORK DONE AND CHECK THE OUTCOME YOURSELF > MAINLY LOOK OUT FOR FERRITIN (IRON) AND VITAMIN B12, IF LOW CAN LEAD TO DEEP DEPRESSION, AS WELL AS A BAD GUT FLORA (SMALL VARIETY IN GUT BACTERIA CREATED BY TAKING TOO MANY ANTIBIOTICS! ) CAN BE THE REASON FOR YOUR DEPRESSION! LOVE AND HUGS KRISTINA P.S. MY DOCTOR HAS OVERLOOKED MY LOW FERRITIN AND B12 LONGER THAN 3 YEARS. I EVEN THOUGHT I HAD ADHD!

  5. from 60s on wards it has been Financiers bankers lawyers and accountants have been milking England as the first guinee pig of Financial capital economy model and whomever country who followed England model. since 9/11 and new world order Psychiatrist are replacing lawyers and accountant to mild the system and get richer and fatter like their other white dog friends albeit in a different profession. white is white though.

  6. I say English speaking world is in economic crisis since 9/11. Every time their economic system gets into greedy mess they pose a world war to recover. this time WW111 was the proxy war thus has not got them out of the mess fully. This white dog it should be called is a new trend. study European history of the last 100 years and see trend after trend for yourself. the White dog has the international institutions including world health organisation under its thumb, i agree with white European having deeper psychological complications than a white dog but sorry dont apply it to the world. A young person in Iran who is born and lived under 40 years of embargo war and problem imposed by the white dog doesnt have the same depression as cocaine sniffers of BBC and England, no way.

  7. Depression in Europe and industrial nation is different than others, would y say its the same as africa?. There are all the monies in Europe but yet statiscally they have the highest rate of white dog depression and suicide. They judge the entire world ie the beautiful africa, the lovely india and asia with those patient people who suffered 300 years of white dog domination and colonialism with the same prospective as themselves.

  8. It's an attack on western psychology, western culture treats animals
    with respect and we regard dogs as our best friends, it's a pretty good
    chance you will see at least one black dog a day in Europe or America
    and they use this as a trigger, it's a subliminal implant that relapses
    your mental health problems and gives you a feeling of never being able
    to escape, leading to despair and eventually suicide.

    You will notice the majority of uploads for black dog on youtube are
    from asian and arabs, people who come from places where dogs are
    regarded as vermin and treated with no respect. They have taken
    something that is an intrinsic part of western life and used it to
    manipulate and alter our thought processes.

    in the UK alone suicides have skyrocketed bu no-one is really talking
    about it, it's no wonder when when we are being manipulated into
    thinking our best freind is following us around and is actually
    something bad. why do so mnay muslims go into pyschology only to mess
    with western folks by prescribing them medication that rots the brain
    and filling them full of this manipulaive programming propoganda
    bullshit?

  9. Depression is nothing like a black dog, Dogs are freindly, loyal and
    bring comfort, thanks to you bunch of cunts everytime i see a black dog i
    am now instantly reminded that I have mental health problems and it
    brings me down for the rest of the day. Whoever decided that this would
    be a good idea is an absolute cunt, Typical shit policys from a bunch
    of arseholse who know nothing about mental health,

  10. You have a black dog. Then, may be, a day you realize that inside your black dog there is another black dog. And inside it there is another one… and inside it still another… and another… and so on. Then you understand than they are a multitude of black dogs nested. Don´t fight against them, its useless. Instead join them, make an army, lead it and go towards life to fight. Go and fight for freedom, for your own and intimate freedom, through the liberation of that multitude of prisoners that you recognize and mention only for their group name: "black dog". Sometimes, some persons suffering because of a black dog situation, succeed going on such strategy and get valuable successes. My case is one of those cases. Until now, at least. War continues.

  11. these videos helped me with my presentation for my exam, it helps with a few points not every website has

  12. I've had many dark days these last few months, just watched the black dog video and I shall definitely take something from this and banish my black dog someday.

  13. this video needs more asian language captions because many asian countries still suppress talking about mental health and this would be life changing

  14. What if you have a physical illness that makes it impossible to consistently earn enough money to live on and you're getting further and further into debt, yet no financial support available, no support network and no social life due to depression, illness and lack of money, crippled confidence a completely broken sense of identity, no social skills, and a past that is too painful to bear despite having had professional help for over a decade… if you don't relate to this and you have even one of those things in place, I'm happy for you, sad that you have a black dog, but this viscous cycle has no 'exit' that I can see. If you have someone who loves you (not talking specifically a partner – a family would have been nice) who you love back that makes life worth something..

  15. My maths teacher told me to watch the two black dog videos today. And it's just kinda hit me how much she actually realises what's going on without me even having said anything. I really needed this

  16. I guess I am a little upset with this reference–ah if only I was a bit more literate and could know the meaning of Jonghyun's tattoo. Black Dog = Depression. Why it was not more known here?

  17. I want to cry especially since Jonghyun died because of depression…his psychiatrist should've watch this video. RIP out bling bling Jonghyun

  18. In my opinion, as human being we have our own black dog which are our fear, negative thinkings and scary thoughts. The most important thing is that we'd better simplify it, live with it. We shouldn't build up the story or frame it. The more we think about that, the bigger the black dog. Just let the black dog go through your mind like some of clouds pass through the sky. That's it, nothing more, nothing less. That's the approriate method which I still apply in my life.

  19. m scrolling through the comments to find something that touches me but none do. how am I supposed to battle the black dog on my own? what if i just want to surrender!

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