Keto Puppy Chow Recipe | 1st Day of School | UnhappilyAHousewife



I don't even think I've picked up the camera yet it's a almost 4 o'clock so good afternoon motherfuckers we are sitting in front of a pizza place because the kids are going to have some pizza and then we're gonna have something from there obviously kitto friendly and we went to the library who went to Samantha's open house today she got her supply list we picked everything up that she needed she's good now just got away for Austin's dreadful supply list he'll be getting his on Friday I mean the stuff he can bring some stuff because we do have a lot of stuff in our draw cuz we always buy extra of stuff but we'll see what he's gonna need what else we into Walmart did I say that we got dog food in this place and then I picked up this from the library because I've been wanting to read this this and girl wash your face which I think I'm gonna have to order off Amazon because I can't find it anywhere and I want to own it anyway but I am gonna read this so I'm sure you guys know exactly what this book is it's pretty popular so I'm gonna read that I also got a Kido book it's a newer one I'll show you that when I get home we're blinking anyway cuz you know anyway here's my little girl back there my little fifth grader oh my god she's going into fifth wait why am i cloudy cloudy blurry wait hold on Sammy look at her faith she's a pretty little girl anyway and there's this pretty little girl stop so we're gonna watch Silence of the Lambs tonight because Samantha wants to see it and I haven't seen it in so many years and you guys know if you've ever seen that movie is a good one it's a good one Sammy wants to see it so we got it from the library which is kind of cool and got a couple other things I got some Christmas alive sign movies actually I think they're Hallmark so yeah we got that so I'll be checking this out I might bring it to the gym tomorrow and sit on the bike and read it why not and that's all that's it I'm we're sorry we haven't eaten yet so we're waiting okay so it's like 9:20 at night we have no more fat bombs there is no more pumpkin cheesecake bars so hey Sam could you turn that down please thank you so we want something to snack on yes we snack yes we snack so currently Dana wants to make something called puppy chow no it's not so dogs something with pork rinds and chocolate covered something so here's what we got so apparently we need some butter patterns or if at all unsweetened cocoa powder some whoo some peanut butter coconut oil and pork rinds apparently you're supposed to melt something with something else and then put it in something and then shake it up in a bag because I don't know it you're the one who read it okay so let me read it to you so that in case you guys are keto and want to try this and happen try this this is what you have to do you take a bag of pork rinds okay you put it into a bowl then on a pan or in a pot a small pot on a stove you melt a half a cup of coconut oil 3 tablespoons of cocoa powder 1/2 a cup of peanut butter 3 tablespoons of the sweetener of your choice whether it be erythritol whatever you want to use a spicy vanilla four tablespoons of butter melt that all together throw it on the pork rinds mix it all up and then put it into a large baggie when it like cools down just a little bit and then you throw a little bit of like powdered erythritol in there and throw it in the freezer for a couple minutes and you've got puppy chow I forgot the vanilla mm-hmm so you've got puppy chow and supposedly the pork rinds don't even taste like pork rinds anymore we will let you know if we will let you know [Applause] hi Rico hi record-high wheezy we tallied need can you hear them papi okay so Bo we have to put our movie on pause Fifty Shades freed we still haven't seen it no Dana just took them out of the freezer okay so there they are [Applause] are you ready okay the first one of course you're gonna get the biggest one right no you're not okay so fucking checks mix it tastes like a fat bomb with crunch oh my god it does not taste like pork rinds little bit I'm in shock right now mm-hmm oh my god I don't want them to get harder all right I'll put him mm-hmm oh my god oh stop it you know knees are fucking banging you should have seen her she was pussyfooting over there I will admit I was a little skeptical oh my god dude puppy chow aren't you glad I watch what I watch thank ya I hate it when she's smoking right hmm no fucking good it really is delicious it's nothing like the rice mm-hmm there's no pork it just tastes like a crunchy chocolate goodie like Chex Mix which these head yeah you know my god thumbs up no yeah in front of the sink sink sink sink San Jose you gotta get the hello signs over there don't grab my neck I actually grabbed the one that says you're in fifth grade yeah come on grab it hold it up a little higher Austin how about just a little bit higher what's wrong with this picture nothing nothing's wrong with this picture okay okay mm-hmm go ahead go get the other picture there with the other the other side go ahead mm-hmm mm-hmm smartass Junior give me a big smile mm-hmm don't go nowhere we gotta wait for Sammy again all right so excuse the hairdo obviously it's morning time are those taking pictures of the kids at 6:50 Austin has ten minutes before he gots to leave after today he won't be nervous I don't know why he's nervous but we were just there so you should be fine what all right look at how oh yeah you guys have to take one together did you take a picture ever all right put the thing down the sign you just got to take one together oh no no no hold it sign poor Kelly no smile really you guys look like mug shots can we get a little love for a little love in your heart and the world come on man put a little love stand a little closer these are related you know that right hello – fucking mooks I know hello all right put the signs down I hope you got nice pictures of them singly because together they look like you're going to jail anyway so we're getting our shoes together Sammy want some cereal Austin cereal nobody wants cereal that's you're nervous see you Austin have a good day Austin can't you see why see ya you don't have a reputation see you love you every day right so we just got back from bringing Samantha to the bus stop the bus was SuperDuper late I mean obviously we understand she's even got a different bus driver it's a female came in a whole different direction also like she usually waits on a corner this time it came across the street from there like kind of like how was the first year we were here and then it went over to a corner and now it's back over to the where she was the first time of course very impatient I was impatient as well but she was super impatient you know nervous she's just nervous she wants to get there already which I get it I wanted to get the fuck in the house already cuz me and Arlo were literally just standing there and we had swamp-ass we had swamp-ass just standing there for 20 minutes 25 minutes we stood there because you know in a damn first second and like probably third day they need to get their shit together trying to figure out what stops of what and now that I get me kiss school yeah we understand it I mean it would have been better if it was like a breeze but there ain't no goddamn breeze I don't know if you guys can see look at our front window I mean that's how humid it is out because it has all that condensation on the goddamn window anyway so we're gonna sit for like 15 minutes Chloe already ate rigo's eating and then we're gonna run to the gym and do our shit and get the fuck home and chill out in the air-conditioned line so Austin was a little worried Ward this morning as well like dude we just brought you to the school I get it though you know what I mean like as a 42 year old it's hard to understand what a 16 year old is thinking but he was like where's my booty call it again and what's this again Oh what is that again Austin chill out you were just there last week you'll be fine anyway so that's what's going on you guys seen the kids ah that's it I know are those happy to be in the house so hot even clovy is happy right we shed ma don't ever do that again so once in the bluest of moons I'm gonna usually you know Chloe comes with me to the bus stop with Sammy but it looked like a little bit of a struggle today I mean mind you it's not even a block away it's like a half a block not even but she likes to be out there but I don't think I'm gonna take her too much once in a blue moon but she's hot Mama's hot and I talk to you later all right we're leaving the gym we're super tired ooping up pretty early I got up at 6:20 Ireland at about like six 4640 well I got up at 6:00 for yeah you did come on back to sleep for 20 minutes but I came back came down and we took pictures we don't that will insert that over here now you don't need to see it because we blocked oh yeah we were just in this sauna and we were talking and I seen this old lady and older lady and she was right directly like front of the door but the door but by the lockers so I'm like oh god please don't don't change in front of me like I don't want to see so I looked away you know cuz you know sometimes it's a little awkward side yes especially because here's the thing with this we're in the sauna so it makes us look like we're creeping which we're really not what the fuck he wearing sunglasses with a headband it just doesn't it doesn't fly with me anyway so it looks like we're kind of like creeping and you know really know we're really not I mean there's no other place to see it to see there's no other place to sit or to look so I said to Arlo I was like oh I wonder if she has like a gray Bush I don't want to see her gray Bush and then I turned to other when I was like have you ever had a full bush and she was like well when I was little right younger a little younger when I was younger and I said oh really I said I think I started shaving in 20 in a law that's what you said yeah when I was like 20 years old I was like I have no idea when I when I realized that I couldn't achieve a normal right I didn't realize I could shave it all off like I trimmed it so it wasn't like 70s bush you know where it connects to your legs and then your knees and whatever else wherever else you have hair like a butthole and stuff so I was like do you remember like wearing panties and you had like the full bush and you'd like field down there and they rolled like bounce a little bit because of all the girls like you could see the fluff through the cotton drawers or you'll see the hairs poking through the yeah like there'd be a couple of stragglers that was find their way through the drawers yes so cause so comment below when you started shaving your Bush and if you didn't start shaving your Bush comment below if you enjoy having a full bunch shit we talk about a twirl Whitman here okay well we're all family yes we're all motherfuckers we're all motherfuckers here all right so we're I act me cuz we got to buy a little teeny bag of white rice and because I'm gonna make the kids chicken and broccoli tonight and of course we don't have any white rice let's go get that dude hey do you see how to him no I did not leave the sauna just now I just got out of the car so we just got out of acne we're running out of eggs you know we eat eggs a lot so I'm gonna go home and make some bacon and eggs I am gonna make her waffle even though she says no I have plenty of time to do it I know how much yeah I don't know I don't know if we showed you guys I don't think we did because hungry food starving and we eat it all um so I made each one of us a waffle so I've been making them with the premier protein along with a tiny bit of almond flour and an egg great so the first time I made it I made it with a whole big thing of protein and I was like all right next time I made it only made what a half of it because there's no need to make it with the whole thing so I only made it would have one egg a piece in it so two eggs and then a little bit of caramel flour let me tell you something right now oh my goodness so I made the first one with vanilla protein powder and it was good I mean protein shake and the second one I made with chocolate protein shake and where'd you think about Arizona oh my god it was fucking delicious looks like a little circus scene it was like don't get me one of those protein shakes okay she goes Arlo really chocolate like so what so I'm like oh you know oh I'll try it with the chocolate and it went up any better than the vanilla the vanilla was good the chocolate was just way better so I'm gonna make her as you can't have chocolate on Tito exactly and who says you can't have waffles on keto not I said play anyway so I'm gonna make her one waffle and we're gonna have some scrambled eggs and some bacon when the kiddos are at school I'll be getting home soon presently have half a day's I think Sammy has three half a days this week Olli yeah Austin's got two and then he has a full day Friday so he's not happy about that but it is what it is what are you gonna do where we award this morning I don't know why he gets like that but he that's just his personality his gets very worried and then Samantha's very impatient she's more me where's the best mess well it was fucking twenty five minutes later we're waiting for the bus it wasn't on the first day of school there's more traffic and the bus driver doesn't know anybody yeah and it was a different bus driver I was hoping she'd get the guy from last year cuz he was really sweet he was like an older man he was just a nice guy she's got a lady I'm sure she's sweet too but yeah I'm just saying no Samantha for the last like two years she's had this little girl Vanessa that she would always like chitchat at the bus stop bestop with Vanessa is two grades ahead of Samantha but they were very like good together they got along very well and stuff like that so now vanessa is in middle school and sammy went into the fifth and she doesn't have anybody she was literally at the stop this morning alone which such there wasn't any kids with her so and she's all trying to tell me when even let me walk through the bed stab ourselves never now with characters that we see this morning hell motherfucking no people driving like they're on fucking a highway just weirdos I'm sorry yeah it's close to the house but it's not close enough like you're not in front of my house if you were in front of my house and the bus picked you up there I would be like just go ahead I'll look at you through the window but you're not you're over and down nope I ain't ready for that right now you ain't going out there by yourself some other fucking could just clip us right up and see it not happening I'm gonna be as protective as they come maybe maybe when you're in high school let you stand out there maybe I'm gonna just and they would you say how do your friends hi grace hi Austin's friend I Austin's friends that watch alright so we love to embarrass the shit out of our kids are you guys like that cuz fuck it is like what I live for I'm stopped like seriously I'm like mommy loves you don't forget it mommy loves you I don't give a shit I like it I like to have fun with the kids okay so we are home and Dana's putting away the groceries that we got from acne and we are in the car earlier and I put down my visor and everything came falling down every anybody ever do that I just shove shit right there and then you totally forget about it and just everything just falls into your lap anyway I wanted to clean off that area and there was like a fucking stack of shit like this thick anyway little note there you go I know it's backwards but it says my sweetheart mm-hmm it is dated March 11 2014 Dana used to write me notes she still does everyone so all but she used to write me notes and put it in my lunch bag yeah to my sweetheart life is so good being with you our journey has just begun we'll be moving to a new house soon and the joy I'm feeling is so overwhelming I think about our future every day and it always puts a smile on my face I love you with all I have love your baby ain't that fucking sweet don't let her believe that she's just some fucking hard-ass Puerto Rican mother fuckers I mean she is she'll kick my ass but she's just so fucking sweet yeah hey you don't see how did she treats me in the bedroom I said you don't see how she treats me in the bedroom yes but I love like finding shit like this I also found like a little thing that Sammy had Ron where is it so it says at the top says Arlo from Samantha she tried to like draw the New Jersey Devil symbol see and that cute oh I fucking love finding shit like this I love it love it love it love it love it love it so when I go to work I'm gonna shove that shit back in there well just a really good stuff all the junk I'm throwing right hey look see junk junk junk junk yeah what it's like the the struggles that we go through make our life what it is mmm like when we first started dating there was like so much shit thrown our way and it's actually made us stronger and like we grew closer a lot quicker and so it's like a whirlwind of a romance yeah I mean July was four years we've been married and you know sometimes I think we've been married for like 15 20 years just I guess the way we are but like I said you know we went through a lot in the beginning beginning of our relationship and it just brought us closer like super quick but I wouldn't change it for the world like yes you know we have our struggles but as long as we have each other that's that's all that fun I swear I've never been with somebody that I've been I've never been with somebody that I've been so completely so completely like trustworthy of like with I think every relationship I've ever been in are you always in the back of your mind never know if that person's gonna ever fucking cheat on you or fucking screw you over in some way I finally ever had that feeling I know I don't ever have that feeling it just never comes to my mind that she would ever do something like that to me and I know I know fuck you asshole why don't you are sitting down so doing nothing in like usual but I'm just fuckin alright I'm throwing garbage at you know it's garbage you smell like outside that's what it smells like want to smell my bush it they're full out there they're so they're so cool anyways they're full even though I smell you outside I'm in and out man I know I know I know it but I've never felt that way so that's a good feeling to always have with your partner that you know nothing would ever ever come between you two so let me get going mm-hmm she's a keeper okay Weston's home from school he wasn't scared he knew where every class was he wasn't late and he was worrying for absolutely nothing okay here's my brunch mmm chocolate waffle eggs and bacon finish having I using bacon no waffle and she's waiting for semi how was your first day were you scared did you have fun did you see her and your friends all right so we just got finished having our brunch it's now one o'clock yeah ARLA showed you um the kids are home I don't know if I showed you guys yeah so this is Sammy's book bag enough you guys seen it I got it from TJ Maxx dude it was on fucking I swear I think I only paid like less than $20 for it and it's limited to and it comes with a ton of stuff there is a tablet case there's a pencil case it comes with a water bottle the water bottles a little paint she could drink the stuff at home but I don't know if I trust it going to school I want to make sure it's completely spell proof so comes a water bottle and then it also comes with a lunch bag which is freaking awesome and it's limited to so you guys know that's a kid's store you guys know what the limited is so it's limited to so and then also got a North Face bag I'm not sure Ria's bag as you might say we ain't brought it upstairs so throws it down here something better to leave it down here um that's pretty much it kids had a great day at school so I just wanted to show you what I'm making them for dinner they just each had pizza because they have pizza for dinner last night and there was leftover so they each had us two slices a piece cuz had half a day's today so they were hungry but tomorrow I'm making Sammy lunch I probably just make her a bagel with cream cheese if you guys want to see or interested in what I'm gonna give her tomorrow for lunch I'll probably just put in the video in the morning so I've got some garlic over here just getting all yummy and over here I've got chicken breasts that I slice a super thinly and small and I have a little bit of xanthan gum in here which if you're on keto it's kind of used like cornstarch it'll it's a thickening agent so I've got some of that in here I'm gonna season this up with salt pepper and ginger and then I'm gonna throw it into the garlic and stir it up I'm not going to stir it up I'm gonna saute it up a little bit and then I'm gonna throw some broccoli in there and I'm gonna make them some chicken and broccoli tonight with white rice so that's what I'm doing put a little soy sauce I'm actually gonna put more than that there's like nothing there and they like when I add a little oyster sauce to it because they actually do like the sweetness of it but when you make chicken and broccoli it's kind of like what they put in there anyway although just doesn't like it in fried rice but ah she ain't ever eaten fried rice again anyway so anyway so let me get started I'll show you guys what it looks like once I've gotten to a point where it looks like chicken or broccoli I'm gonna start showing a lot more of what I what I feed the kids I always forget so now we're showing them everything you want to see it you got all right so I am making my iced coffee let me show you guys so far you see it I put my skinny syrup in there ice and it's the cold brew that comes out of our coffee cup or ice – true vias and you know the deal I feel like I'm not gonna have enough room for my cream but we will say I'm gonna have a drink soon oh no oh look at that tell me that does not look delicious holy Shh sugar me tikka mmm it's a little dark I think I need a little more cream because I like my shit late so there we go just a little more clean deciding man sighting hmmm I think I need doesn't taste like he's on that too much Chloe I'm coming mama she's waiting for me to go into the pool just like you told me we're going to the pool fifteen minutes ago and which we're still here what's going on why haven't we left yet why why why why the sun is shining might as well write it you should been out for the pool will be closing not yet but it will be oh my God look at it does it not look divine all right we're going let me get my bag hold on wait I got my beach bag my speaker my tables Oh heavy glass sighs come on up oan I gotta grab you guys god I hope I can do this come on Weezy so I've bending been putting her in the pool lately because it's a lot less like stress on her hips because obviously you guys know when you're in the pool you're lighter than usual so that's what's happening here I'm actually going to get my book that I got from the library and I'm gonna read it when I'm out here hanging out with my girl huh I was gonna put the umbrella up I probably still em so as you could see it's super super super sunny out here it's nice though there's the pool there's a little too dirty which is a good thing I vacuumed it the other day so I'm hoping it's just fine because I'm not vacuuming again it's a pain in the ass so that's what I'm gonna do right now I'm gonna put you guys in my bag we need some serious weed whacking back here but it's just it's not happening no time soon because it's too fucking hot to be working outside and it's not it's too much I can't do it alone I have the way for our low and our lows busy working and even when she's off it's like we have other things to do right now that are more important than whacking these stupid fucking weeds and I'm not trying to pay nobody to come up in here and do it because it's too expensive and it's not even worth it so it's just gonna have to wait that's all you

16 thoughts on “Keto Puppy Chow Recipe | 1st Day of School | UnhappilyAHousewife

  1. Imma have to make that puppy chow and throw in some peanut butter
    Full bush until ya get with someone. Then its either bald or trimmed. Honestly if im not with anyone why should i bother?

  2. I remember being embarrassed by my mom, growing up. She would wear dresses with an all over print and I would say, "Fashion Emergency."

  3. I actually watched it for the first time with Mikayla about a month ago she said it’s now her favorite movie

  4. No ma'am, no ham BALS ALL THEY WAY AROUND! The hooha is the only place I have to shave. I dont grow her under my arms or legs ?

  5. Omg!!! Died laughing. Dana I come up with random questions like not all the time. My husband thinks I’m a weird creep. Lol By the way what channels are good for Keto info or can you make a video on how to start? I want to try it out.

  6. Omg the bush thing made me spit out my beer! Lol, I've not had the bush in years, clean shaven here cuz bush ain't cute

  7. I always did that to my daughter. Lol…so much fun! And the best was one of the tournaments she went to out of town I couldn't go so when she gets to her first game, all her teammates are like Where's your mom? Where's Phyllis? And she told them I couldn't come this time so she came with another parent. They all went "awwwww", she was so mad. ? she came home and told me and when I cracked up laughing, she stomped off saying why do all my friends love you anyway? I almost peed my pants laughing! Rolling her eyes at me the harder I laughed. But she was pissed I couldn't come too. I cheer really really loud too. Once she told me to stop, I told her every time she gets mad I'm gonna cheer more and even louder. Now she laughs when I cheer.?

  8. You both make me laugh too hard! Been shavin that bush since I'm 20!? We have also had a lot of challenges in the beginning of our relationship too. Still together after 14 years and I can tell him anything. He is my best friend. Thanks for the laugh ladies. Till next time. Toodles…❤❤

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