Jenny Slate And Her Dog Reggie Met Cute


>>Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME
JENNY SLATE! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪>>HI.>>Stephen: HOW ARE YA? FEELING FINE. HOW ARE YOU?>>Stephen: VERY WELL. THANKS FOR ASKING.>>DONE.>>Stephen: EXCELLENT
INTERVIEW.>>THANK YOU SO MUCH. (LAUGHTER)
>>Stephen: IN SECRET LIFE OF PETS YOU PLAY A POMERANIAN?>>MM-HMM.>>Stephen: I NEED TO ASK YOU
ABOUT AN ACTUAL PET BECAUSE I SAW THIS PHOTO. I DON’T KNOW IF WE GOT IT FROM
YOU OR SOMEBODY ELSE.>>THAT IS FROM ME.>>Stephen: WHO IS THIS YOU’RE
HOLDING RIGHT HERE?>>THAT’S MY DOG REGGIE. HE’S VERY OLD. HE HAS ONLY SEVEN TEETH.>>Stephen: ONLY SEVEN TEETH. AND HE STARTED OFF WITH THE
NORMAL NUMBER OF TEETH.>>IS THIS I BELIEVE SO.>>Stephen: OKAY. HOW DID YOU MEET REGGIE?>>SO REGGIE, I KNOW THAT REALLY
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ADOPT DOGS, AND WE SHOULD, BUT I FOUND
REGGIE ON WHAT WAS MAYBE ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE. I WAS — I REALLY WANTED TO BE
AN ACTRESS. I JUST GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE. I DID NOT KNOW ANY PERFORMERS OR
HOW TO BECOME AN ACTRESS SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD BE AN ASSISTANT
TO A PERFORMER. I WENT ON CRAIGSLIST AND THERE
WAS AN OPERA SINGER AND I THOUGHT, THIS IS LIKELY FANCY.>>Stephen: YOU MIGHT AS WELL
START WITH THE CLASSIEST PERFORMER YOU CAN? NEW YORK?>>YES. I WENT TO THIS MAN’S ASSISTANT,
MET HIM IN A PUBLIC PLACE, HE SEEMED FINE.>>Stephen: AN OPERA SINGER. YES.>>Stephen: WOULD I KNOW HIM? ONLY I KNOW HIM.>>Stephen: THIS IS NOT A
PAVAROTTI?>>OH, NO. NO, NOBODY KNOWS HIM EXCEPT FOR
ME. (LAUGHTER)
AND HE SEEMS PRETTY NORMAL, I GUESS. AND HE WAS, LIKE, WELL, WE NEED
HELP DECORATING THE APARTMENT, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THAT? AND I WAS, LIKE, OH, I WOULD
LOVE TO HELP YOU, YOU KNOW, MAKE YOUR HOME MORE BEAUTIFUL. HE GAVE ME AN ADDRESS AND SAID,
COME HERE. IT’S, LIKE, A FANCY APARTMENT IN
THE WEST VEG. I WAS, LIKE, THAT’S GREAT. AND I GOT THERE. THE LOBBY WAS NICE. THE STAIRS WERE REALLY PRETTY. I WENT UP THE STAIRS. I WALKED — THE APARTMENT DOOR
WAS, LIKE, OPEN A CRACK, WHICH IS TRULY FROM A HORROR MOVIE. YOU KNOW —
>>Stephen: IS HE WITH YOU AT THIS POINT?>>NO, H HE IS IN THE HOME. THE HOME, RIGHT?>>Stephen: ALL RIGHT. ARE THE LIGHTS ON?>>OH, EVERYTHING IS BLASTING. LIKE, THE DOOR WAS OPEN A CRACK. I WAS, LIKE, HELLO… AND NO RESPONSE. SO I PUSHED THE DOOR OPEN. I STEPPED IN, AND IT WAS,
LIKE — AND I STEPPED AND I WAS, LIKE, WHAT? AND I HAD STEPPED ON, LIKE, A
FULL BURRITO. (LAUGHTER)
>>Stephen: THAT’S NOT A EUPHEMISM FOR SOMETHING?>>NO.>>Stephen: IT WAS ACTUALLY A
FULL BURRITO?>>YES, IT WAS A COMPLETE
BURRITO.>>Stephen: UH-HUH. AND I WAS, LIKE, WHAT… AND LOOKED UP AND IT WAS,
LIKE — HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WALKING DOWN THE BEACH AND IT’S
A BEAUTIFUL TIME AND YOU STEP ON A DEAD FISH AND YOU’RE, LIKE,
OOH AND YOU LOOK UP AND IT’S, LIKE, A RED TIDE SITUATION
EVERYWHERE, DEAD FISH AND YOU’RE, LIKE, HOW DID I GET THIS
FAR INTO IT?!>>Stephen: AND WILL I GET
OUT?>>AND WILL I EVER GET OUT. AND THE ANSWER IS, CERTAINLY
NOT, IS WHAT I WAS THINKING. I HAVE THAT KIND OF PERSONALITY
WHERE MY MOM WOULD NEVER PUT MY NAME ON MY SHIRTS. NO “JENNY” SHIRTS OR ANYTHING
BECAUSE I’M VERY FRIENDLY AND SHE WAS AFRAID SOME WEIRDO IN A
VAN WOULD BE, LIKE, JENNY! I’M SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP FROM
SCHOOL TODAY, AND I’M JUST LIKE, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP, BOOP! (LAUGHTER)
YEAH, I’M STEPPING ON THIS WALL STREET O. I LOOK IN THE
APARTMENT, IT’S FILLED WITH GARBAGE, A TOTAL CRACK DEN. AND THE DUDE IS IN THERE AND
HE’S, LIKE, WELCOME!>>Stephen: ANY IDEAS? THIS IS HOW FAR I’VE GOTTEN!>>YEAH, AND I WAS LOOKING
AROUND, AND I THOUGHT, BE POSITIVE.>>Stephen: VERY SWEET. YEAH, JUST TRYING TO LIVE A
LIFE. AND, SO, THERE WERE JARS —
EVERYTHING IN ME WERE, LIKE, JENNY, THOSE ARE JARS OF PEE,
JUST JARS OF A LIQUID. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? (LAUGHTER)
AND I THOUGHT, WELL, HE’S AN OPERA SINGER, MAYBE IT’S A FANCY
TEA BECAUSE HE HAS TO BE LIKE, LALALALALA!>>Stephen: VERY NICE, YEAH. O I WAS, LIKE, MAYBE IT’S A
DRINK. AND I LOOKED AND ONE WAS A
SMUCKER’S JAM JAR WITH JAM STILL IN IT. I’M OKAY, IT’S URINE FROM A HUME
NOON AND HE WAS A DRUG ADDICT?>>THERE WERE DRUGS EVERYWHERE.>>Stephen: IT’S SO POOR
PLANNING FOR A DRUG USER TO SAVE THEIR URINE. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE) WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. BUT THEN YOU WENT AND GOT THE
DOG, I UNDERSTAND?>>WELL, YES.>>Stephen: THIS WAS ONE
QUESTION, BY THE WAY.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: I’VE MANAGED TO
GET OUT ONE QUESTION, AND I’VE LOVED IT.>>RIGHT. SO IT WAS A TERRIFYING
EXPERIENCE WITHIN THE APARTMENT. I EVENTUALLY GOT ON MY CELL
PHONE AND PRETENDED TO BE ON THE CALL.>>Stephen: YEAH. I SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT.>>Stephen: WHAT’S THAT? I’VE GOT KIDNEY FAILURE? I’VE GOT TO GO.>>RIGHT. I WAS, LIKE, IT’S AN EMERGENCY! AND TRIED TO MAKE A LOT OF SPACE
AROUND ME SO I COULD LEAVE. AND THEN I WENT TO A PET STORE
TO CHEER MYSELF UP AND LOOK AT THE PUPPIES. SO I WAS, LIKE, WOW, THEY’RE
SWEET. THERE WERE ALL THESE PUPPIES AND
THERE WAS ONE DOG UP IN THE CORNER AND I GREW UP WITH A DOG
LIKE REGGIE, AND HE WAS UP IN THE CORNER AND I WAS, LIKE,
WHAT’S UP WITH THAT DOG? AND THEY WERE, LIKE, HE’S NOT A
PUPPY AND NOBODY REALLY WANTS HIM AND WE DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH HIM. I TOOK IT SO PERSONALLY, I JUST
CONTINUED TO PROJECT MYSELF ON TO THIS DOG, ALSO. I WAS, LIKE, SOLD! (APPLAUSE)
>>Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU AND
REGGIE. SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL MATCH.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: “THE SECRET LIFE
OF PETS” IS IN THEATERS FRIDAY JULY 8. JENNY SLATE, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK! ♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

100 thoughts on “Jenny Slate And Her Dog Reggie Met Cute

  1. Sorry, but Chris Evans and Captain America are two different people. Steve Rogers strives to do what is right – and he wouldn't go out with a married woman like Chris does, so please stop calling Evans "Captain America". He is not.
    And I seriously don't like this woman. For more reasons than one.

  2. someone should give her a movie to write and direct a movie with total creative control. it would be insanely quirky and entertaining.

  3. Ummm, isn't it great planning for a drug user to save their piss? Assuming that they're saving either piss that they did when they were clean or piss that they got from another non-drug user.

  4. I sometimes think that her stories are a bit made up. But they're hilarious, so it's okay. The way she tells them makes them really funny.

  5. Can you imagine if everyone in the world had a bat shit crazy story behind why they have their dog?! I mean…

    I got my dog after my mother’s Alzheimer’s was getting really bad and I thought she’s going to burn the house down 1 day. And so after cleaning her house nearly every day I said ok, I need to love someone who is going to love me back and I need someone in my life who is going to help me mellow out. And yeah, dogs are work but the walks and hikes really help. And now I have the best dog on the east coast!

  6. There’s something about her that screams sex appeal. She is so sexy and I wish I could sex her. Chris Evans is a smart guy and jumped on the train early before everyone was like oh shittttttt Jenny Slate is SEXY

  7. Don't take her anywhere near a minefield it won't turn out well, but she's so quirkie I love it

  8. Great story. She had to tell it in its entirety or else people wouldn’t understand why she bought Reggie from a pet store. Loved it

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