Horrifying Farm Animal Toys | Ashens


[Doot doot, doot doot, doot doot] Hello! Hello children Hello How many kinds of farm animal do you know? Well today We’ll be seeing how many kinds of farm animal you can identify from these “Educational Toys” They were 150 Yen (presumably from somewhere in Japan) And look at this silly Sad Onion He doesn’t know any ’cause he’s a bit thick Are you ready? ‘k we’ve got one, two three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven twelve animals Let’s see how many you can correctly name as per the names given on this package Who’s this fellow? Do you know what his name is? That’s right! It’s “King Cock”! “King Cock” What’s this little beauty’s name? I’ll bet you know, don’t you? Of course It’s a “Baby Duck” A “Baby Duck” Who’s that scratching around there? Can you have a guess? It’s… “Henny” That’s right, “Henny” Who’s this jaunty little chap? We all know what we’d call a pink dog, don’t we? That’s right… “Little Collie” “Little Collie” But who’s his little friend, screeching into the void with his mutiliated face We all know, don’t we. Of course It’s “Ali Cat” “Ali Cat” But who’s this terrifying follower of Satan? Is it Baphomet? No! It’s… “Go Go Goat” “Go Go Goat” Here’s somebody having a good old dance While covered in shotgun wounds But what’s their name? It’s “Rabbit Girl” “Rabbit Girl” eurgh! Here’s someone sitting nice and quiet reminiscing over the blood of her fallen enemies that she’s covered herself with Who is it? We know, don’t we? It’s “Mamma Rabbit” “Mamma Rabbit” What’s this skunk-coloured creature with a pustulant eye? Can anyone tell me? I’ll bet you all can It’s A “Horse” Even though it’s obviously a donkey, it’s A “Horse” “TA DA!” shrieks this character with all his showmanship as he reveals his pink, naked body to some old ladies in a shopping centre But what’s his name? We’ve seen it on “Crimewatch”, it’s “Pa-Pig” “Pa-Pig” Here’s the stuffed corpse of something I think I know what animal that is Do you know too? It is A “Lamb “Lamb” for tea And here’s our last friend for today What in the name of actual fuck is this abomination called? We all know, don’t we? It’s “Middle Cow” That’s right… “Middle… Cow”? Yes So how many did you correctly guess, children? Did you get all twelve? Well you’re a little smart arse then aren’t you? But don’t worry, no matter how many you got right… … nobody gives a shit if you live or die [Robotic voice] SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE

100 thoughts on “Horrifying Farm Animal Toys | Ashens

  1. What in the name of actual fuck is this abomination called?
    I couldn't stop laughing, how can you say something like that so calmly?

  2. I can't recall the last time a video made me burst into tears from laughter. I'm dying over here XD

  3. I'm a little disappointed that Ashens asked "How many animals do you know?" rather than shouting it because of the exclamation mark.

  4. I don't know why but I just put this on when I want to sit back and relax. It even helps me fall to sleep.

  5. I might make a tv show about a trio of animals

    A large female border collie called – Fat Bitch
    A cat that won't spend any money – Tight Pussy
    A large male chicken – Big Cock

  6. Given that China and Japan both use "¥" as their currency symbol, I can't tell which country this is from by looking at the price tag.

  7. Do I at least get half a point for getting one word correct in the names of these animals? I guessed cow, pig, rabbit twice, goat, cat.

  8. Videos like this makes me really hope it ends up on YouTube kids and a Kidd watches this and then balls like a fucking baby after being insulted

  9. I had these in the '90s. I might even still have a couple packed away somewhere. No idea where they came from. They may have been there before me. I didn't even know they were part of a set, but even the terrifying paintjobs are familiar.

  10. ♫ Old Mac ̶D̶o̶n̶a̶l̶d̶ Devil had a farm
    ♫ E-I-E-I-O
    ♫ And on this farm he had a…what in the name of actual fuck is this abomination called? Middle Cow
    ♫ E-I-E-I-O

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