Guide to Maintaining Friendships

if only all friendships could play out like the ones in sitcoms the main characters usually live next door to each other spend copious amounts of time together drink vats of coffee while having long intimate conversations and solve all of their problems in a cool 22 minutes but we don't live in a sitcom world maintaining friendships especially during life-changing events like graduating high school and moving away to college isn't easy it isn't uncommon to grow apart from your friends at this age and as you get older it becomes hard to make new friends as often today on wall cast we're going to help you deal with the important relationships in your life and we've got a four-step method to help you maintain the old friendships that you have sociologists generally agree that there are three conditions that are necessary for making good friends how close you are geographically how often you hang out and how comfortable you are confiding in each other in fact studies show that people who actually hang out face-to-face are more likely to remain friends than those who simply talk on the phone that said those who talk on the phone to each other regularly are more likely to remain friends than those who only email that's why many of your best friends are made in high school or college you see these people every day and probably have a lot in common with them but what happens when your friendships are no longer based around proximity or convenience let's say your best friend and you leave for different colleges you no longer share any classes with her you don't see her as often and when you do it's a little awkward she has a bunch of new stories about new friends and places that you don't quite fit into but we've got you covered it's time for our well cast guide to maintaining friendships we've got four suggestions for how to foster your friendships even in difficult situations please pause and print out your worksheet at watch well cast calm okay are you ready let's begin step 1 communicate remember this acronym SPE it stands for CE phone email social media can make it feel like you're more in touch with your friends than you actually are hey you get the big life updates from Facebook in a relationship graduating moving across the country but the details the small talk that makes up a friendship that you can only get from face-to-face contact you should work hard to try to see the person whenever you can if they don't live close then phone rather than email it shows your friend that you're serious about this relationship and it allows for longer more intimate conversations step 2 when in doubt send you greetings okay now that you've gotten in touch with your friend what do you talk about if you want to reach out but don't know how to break the ice send a you greeting people like to talk about themselves ask your friend how she's doing throw in a few compliments I bet you're rockin your new job and then let them fill you in step 3 don't be too hard on your friends one common thing you might notice now that you guys have been talking after a little while is that you two have a little bit less in common this is completely natural sometimes friends drift apart people change a lot in this period of their lives that doesn't mean you can't still be friends with someone just try not to focus on the differences well you used to like the killers and instead focus on your shared experiences above all cut your friends some slack think about the person you were when you guys first met you've changed why can't they step 4 take advantage of big events reunions birthdays if you rarely get a chance to see your friend these can be the perfect opportunity to reconnect catch up and celebrate without any awkwardness make a point to invite your friend to any large gatherings you're having this is also a chance to introduce her to your new group of friends and vice-versa alright let's recap the most important thing in maintaining your friendships showing up hanging out in person a great chance for this is a large celebration or milestone and if you can't do that give them a call send you statements when in doubt and ask about the other person don't be too hard on your friends don't expect them not to change hey did these tips help let us know tweet us at watch webcast email us at watch well-cast @ or leave a comment down below we'll see you next time you

45 thoughts on “Guide to Maintaining Friendships

  1. In today's time and social construct, it is better not to have friends. What is regarded a friend in the 21st century, is nothing but an enemy in disguise. Beware the people that approach you in a friendly manner. They will be the first to attack you.

  2. I had tons of friends in school and college but gradually lost them over the years. Most of my friends have moved away and started families. Once your friends start having kids, it is very hard to get together. Also if you work evenings and weekends like I do, just kiss your social life goodbye. I never have time for friends and they do not have time for me.

  3. Im pretty good at making friends at school but I’m not very good at hanging out outside of school. I’m kinda embarrassed about people coming to my house cause a: I have a guinea pig in my room and idk how people will react to that and b: my house is kinda messy. I’m just bad at planning things

  4. Take advantage of low or difficult times, be there to support them. My ex friend is just there when it's fun and convenient.

  5. Past weeks i hve no communication with my best freind ….i used to call text everything he doesnot respons ……

  6. I'm kinda friends with most people in our class. But legit just yesterday me and one of my okay friends became really great friends. It's crazy how saying one thing to someone can trigger a conversation, and that conversation can make you be friends with them.

  7. So i have a friend who has this other friend who she is best friends with. I feel like I never get to spend any time with my friend anymore because she is always with the other girl named Amelia. That is what we will call her. I have nothing against Amelia. I am gonna call my friend Lily. She has anger issues which I know, but I feel like Lily is always even madder then she used to be when she sees me. She seems fine over text but in real life she acts like I am dumb when I ask her simple questions about life. I am just curious but sometimes she takes it the wrong way and gets annoyed. Plus, she and Amelia are OBSESSED with BTS, which i don't mind. But I feel like it has taken over Lily's life. She brings her dolls to class which is fine but when I ask about the band she gets all defensive. Idk what to do because I am scared to talk to her and I do not know what to say. Any advice for me?

  8. anyone want to email or whatsapp me because i have a situation i need help with? Lmk if you are interested. Thx. BTW i am a kid so ya

  9. Hey. Can any one help me out here. Two of my best friends are going to be on the volley ball team this year without me. I really wanted to be in the team but I wasn’t able to sign up. They are already making good friends with their teammates and I’m worried that they will be spending so much time with each other in the team that they won’t spend time with me and we will grow apart. Any advice?

  10. i made a new friend at school today and i’m so scared that i scared her off with my texts. i felt like i talked to make and she responded so little. i really like her and i’m anxious that she won’t like me anymore by the way i texted. can anyone help?

  11. None of this works. People change people move on and if you're always the one reaching out then you may come off as needy or clingy

  12. So, let me tell you a story. So, when school ended the summer sprung up,ma and my friend began to talk often then losing contact together until we barely communicate longer. So, everytime we're at the canteen she talks so much, nowadays she doesn't. My mom told me it's okay not to have friends. Because my sister could handle them while I not. Why? Because I'm a type of person who would like to communicate with people I know I could be friends with. Starting from my 1st day of school I'm depressed. I wanted to die. I never knew what I should do nor react. So every lunch and recess we talk a little bit. But she's that person who everyone wants to talk to her. So I understand her condition, but the huge problem is, she talks to me with a long conversation per 2 months. Hey,that's long. So pretty much, she talks with my ex friend. Its avery huge problem for me actually. :<

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