Film Theory: The Secret to FUSING a Cat and Dog (Nickelodeon CatDog)

when I decided to do an episode on the classic Nicktoons cat dog one question stood out as the hardest one to answer should I be using dog memes or cat memes pun dog or hover cat dancing dog vine or dancing cat vine how can you choose you know what I am hacking bamboozle to play me off keyboard cat hello internet welcome to Phil theory the show that makes videos out of all those weird thoughts that keep you up at night like this one you know keyboard cat is a cat that plays the piano well what would happen if he made a piano that was made out of cats sounds ridiculous well don't let humanity hear you talking like that because wonder no longer internet it already exists it's called the cat synclavier it was imagined though never actually made by a German scholar back in 1650 1650 that's right loyal theorists cat pianos predate electricity I'm glad that scholars were working on the questions that truly mattered back then but anyway we're here to talk today about a big part of my childhood that I'm pretty shocked I haven't actually done an episode on yet Nicktoons gather around the fire youngins because old dad pat is here to tell you of a time before cell phones and the internet when the greatest joy of the weekend was waking up on a Saturday morning eating half your body weight and Cap'n Crunch with crunch berries thank you very much and turning on nickelodeon for a full slate of Nicktoons hosted by a popsicle stick with googly eyes forget your fancy youtube Flash animators all you Jayden's and Rebekah's and dom mixes demux i we had ourselves a stick his name was stick stick ly and we loved him he had a P o box that rhymed with his name stick stick ly P o box 963 New York City New York State 101 o8 he taught me that I could pick a rose pick my nose and oh yeah I could also pick Nickelodeon's shows yeah they burned those rhymes into your head as a kid back then I am indoctrinated anyway I loved the Nicktoons and I related to all the characters in him I lived in a dream world and imagined myself as a superhero like Doug you know my superhero didn't wear underwear on his head because you know that's a little showy no one wants to see those tighty whities I was the stick-in-the-mud only child who never wanted to get into trouble like Chucky from Rugrats so let's be honest with ourselves here in retrospect Tommy pickles was a menace who was a threat to all those other babies and honestly to his parents and I was tormented by other kids at school like Goldin hey arnold go I wasn't teased because my head was shaped like a football it was just because I was a dork but what are the Nicktoons that always fascinated me the most at least on a theorist sorta level was CatDog the show if you haven't seen it is pretty straightforward you've got yourself an animal with a cat's head on one side and a dog's head on the other side and a long shared body in between like a big wobbly hot dog cat is a refined intellectual and dog is well he's a dog Oh high jinks ensue it's funny it's weird and it got me wondering all these years later is a cat dog creature possible now maybe I'm crazy for thinking this I mean it is a kids cartoon for crying out loud but think about it this way cat dog premiered back in 1998 and since then we've had a few massive scientific breakthroughs from hybrid cars to the Human Genome Project to discovering water on Mars I mean just the other day I learned from a friend that you can clone your dog for like twenty thousand dollars if that sounds like a lot remember you are literally creating a genetic duplicate of a living creature with scientific technology that was only perfected in 1995 I wonder if I can clone skip that would be weird youtuber merch you can have a skip of your very own save that one for the Holiday Collection anyway as far as I'm concerned the only thing stopping cat dog from becoming a reality is the limitation of our own imagination so today we're gonna play a little dr. Frankenstein to see just what it would take to make a cat dog it would literally be the perfect pet yep man's best friend crossed with man's most ambivalent friend mix the two together and you get like man's most pleasant next-door neighbor now this episode is all about the scientific possibility of creating a cat dog but I realized that that starts us off with a pretty big assumption that a cat dog doesn't already exist do a quick google search and you'll find that yeah scientists have apparently successfully already bred a cat dog well that was fast good show everybody see you next week but hey of course then you notice that the scholarly site you're getting this information from is called hat stir com you can't find any record online of the scientists mentioned in their news Nicolle quote-unquote and you realize that the picture of the cat dog hybrid looks like it was made in Microsoft Paint fake news is everywhere these days but there is something here worth mentioning which is that rumors of cat dogs go way back long before janky blog sites a report in the French publication lamaa Cargill all puts the earliest recorded instance of cat dog hybridization in 1698 there were other well-publicized incidents from the 1930s and 1970s in which people claimed to have cross bred or discovered animals that were part cat and part dog now of course all of these were eventually shot down as hoaxes made by people look and make a quick buck speaking of people who lie to you to steal your money it's worth mentioning PT Barnum here yeah the circus guy oh sure we all know him as the guy who just had that mad movie musical man after him and us hardcore musical theater nerds know him as the guy who also has a mass stage musical made after him but it's important to remember that this is a guy who got famous for doing things like sewing a salmon tail to a monkey skeleton to claim that he had found himself a mermaid clickbait is everywhere ladies and gentlemen all throughout history anyway my point is that the world's been begging for cat dogs for centuries there's clearly a market for it PT Barnum and the other swindlers weren't able to do it despite what they were claiming otherwise so it's my turn to step up to the plate and give the people what they want the copy it's a cross between kitten puppy it actually it sounds more like a cross between kittens and Guppies the Kippy most logical way to create a cat dog it would seem would be by mating a cat with a dog thereby creating a hybrid creature that contains traits of both animals after all that's how we get animals like mules ligers and wall pins which are combo whale dolphins and yeah all three of those things are real I mean it's not like you were questioning that mules were real but ligers and ball pins yeah I'm like whoa those are real and yes yes they are that's one that they don't teach you in kindergarten B is for vulture W is for what the heck is that frickin nature just when you thought you knew the animal kingdom am i right a big part of the reason these cross breeds exist is that the animal parents are genetically similar enough to make a viable offspring which we can demonstrate using a little bit of tech sauna me now you may remember that science classifies animals in a variety of different categories which are kingdom phylum class order family genus species from be specific to most specific if you can't remember that just remember Kanye prefers coke over flat grape soda because of course he does flat grape soda is gross so consider that to make a mule you need a donkey and a horse which belonged to the same kingdom phylum class order family and genus only their species is different with donkeys belonging to equus africanus asinus and horses belonging to Equus ferus caballus in the evolutionary scheme of things horses and donkeys didn't become different animals until very recently about four to four and a half million years ago cats and dogs on the other hand are as different as well cats and dogs they're not nearly as similar biologically considering they only share kingdom phylum class and order then separate into the families Philly de for cats and candy de for dogs then further separate out from there the common ancestors for cats and dogs existed around 70 million years ago meaning that cat and dog DNA have had that much more time to become different and less compatible most hybrid animals breed across species and very occasionally across genus and very very very rarely across family or even order so from that very theoretical stance a cat dog hybrid would be feasible but mathematically it's just not gonna happen and create a viable creature further adding to the complications is that cats and dogs have a different number of chromosomes those little bundles of DNA that mix together when we create offspring now I just use mules as an example and yeah donkeys and horses also don't have the same number of chromosomes donkeys have 62 and horses have 64 so mules have 63 extra chromosome there isn't gonna rock the boat too much though it should be said that the odd number of chromosomes here means that except in extremely rare cases mules are gonna end up infertile but now let's look at our hypothetical cat dog hybrid here we're not talking about a two chromosome difference we're talking about a 40 chromosome difference cats have 38 chromosomes and dogs have 78 here's the scientific facts that also qualifies as a fun fact King crabs have themselves over 200 chromosomes go figure what exactly would happen to this 58 chromosomes hybrid is purely theoretical though when you consider that damage to even a single chromosome in human DNA tends to create a lot of health problems it's unlikely that a CatDog created this way would have any chance of creating a viable creature let alone surviving being born all right so even though we can't create a CatDog the old-fashioned way that doesn't necessarily mean we're sunk yet a number of the show's fans note that cat dogs home town near burg is a bit of a desolate barren wasteland with no people and only talking animals and whatever Winslow here is they have therefore theorized that it may be a sort of post apocalyptic radioactive wasteland if so maybe cat dog is a mutant and then all we need to do to create our own is find ourselves a leaky nuclear reactor history tells us that yea high levels of radiation tends to mess with plants and animals in the surrounding area in the aftermath of the Chernobyl meltdown local wildlife experienced a number of different mutations mutations that I'm about to show you and that if you don't want to see now might be a good time to take a 15 second vacation down in the comments say hi to everyone else down there who doesn't want to use eye bleach today make yourselves a new friend everyone scroll down who wanted to scroll down fantastic so in addition to animals that were smaller thinner or misshapen in the wake of this disaster you also got yourself some really crazy results in particular animals that had extra body parts like just lamb with eight legs and to get a little bit more on-brand with cat dog this donkey with two heads genetics and radiation man it gets weird reminds me of that episode of Bob's Burgers with a goat who has two months anyway all right comment crew you can come on back up now so based on what some of you just saw it would seem like we have proof that radiation can create a two-headed animal like cat dog right well no again and to understand why we have to get into the science of how these mutations work you see high levels of radiation tend to damage cellular DNA this isn't necessarily a problem because DNA has mechanisms to repair itself but those repairs aren't always exactly right it's like taking a shirt to the dry cleaners to sew a button back on most of the time they sew the button back on perfectly which would be a metaphor for DNA successfully repairing itself sometimes they sewed a button on but it's slightly too high or slightly too low which would be an imperfect but still functional repair and then sometimes instead of sewing the button back on the shirt they like the shirt on fire and cover it in thumbtacks and that's how you end up with an eight-legged spider sheet at any rate these mutations can definitely lead to some strange results but they're not random you might get the doubling of certain genes that create legs or even heads but you wouldn't get an organism with a separate head far away from the first head besides all of the mutations that you're gonna see affect a single organism and to create an animal like cat dog you're somehow gonna have to splice the cat DNA with a dog DNA which radiation and subsequent mutations simply can't do on their own so it strike two for our mad science experiment which leads us to our third and most desperate option and it's a dark one so buckle up let's say you're a mad scientist who just can't live in a world without cat dogs and knowing that you can't interbreed cats and dogs or use radiation to create a mutant cat dog you decide to take things into your own hands Human Centipede style by surgically creating a cat dog if you are somehow able to perform the surgery so well that you could merge the two spines and internal organs such that the surgery itself was a structural success would this cat dog be able to live well you know how when someone needs an organ transplant you have to do tests to make sure that the possible donor is a match this matching system has to do with similarities in the blood and tissues between the donor and the recipient the more differences there are in those tissues the more likely the body's immune system is gonna recognize that organ is foreign which leads to the immune system attacking it as though it was bacteria or a virus in order to kill it and cats and dogs like I've mentioned are genetically different so it makes sense that they would reject each other but that's not the case though it happens only in very rare cases cats that have received a single blood transfusion from a dog usually live interestingly enough cats that receive multiple transfusions tend to reject the blood the second time which suggests that after an initial transfusion the cat's body just recognizes it as different from its own blood it's a weird little phenomenon but yeah on the cat's side it is perfectly viable dogs on the other hand have a very difficult time receiving organ donations at all cats or otherwise because the canine immune system tends to attack any tissues that aren't direct relatives a dog's immune system literally acts just like a dog it's overeager it barks at everything it's adorable to think about until you consider that it makes biological treatment of sick dogs really really hard and then it becomes really sad anyway for the first time ever it's not the cat's fault the cat's immune system would potentially allow it to happen it's the dog that would make this impossible surgery even more impossible and that leaves us with um no crossbreeding no nuclear fallout not even mad science is gonna create a cat dog at the end of the day we're just stuck with the glory that is dog O's and flutes so I ask again what's that leave us with the cartoon I guess which honestly ain't too shabby and making it even better is that lucky for us cat dog and a bunch of other Nicktoons are available for you to watch right now on Verve oh yeah if you have a craving to revisit the simpler times of your childhood or honestly if you're too young and missed out on some of the best shows to ever air on television ever verve has all sorts of must-see NIC splat shows dog real monsters Nick arcade where you actually go into a video game and shows that you won't believe that they actually showed the kids back in the 90s like Rocko's Modern Life seriously if you have never seen Rocko's Modern Life just watch it and remember this was meant to be a show for kids in fact if you watch it come back to this video and let me know what you thought about it because whoo boy times have changed what is acceptable for kids to watch has changed then Verve also has incredible nostalgic game shows like double dare mm global guts where spoiler alert the purple team never wins and what is to this day still on my bucket list of life running through a game of legends of the Hidden Temple to pin it down in the comments were you a red jaguar purple parrot blue Barracuda or silver snake if you are an orange iguana or a green monkey you need not apply if you're eager for even more nostalgia they also have freakazoid and Thundercats all of this and more courtesy of Verve where you can get a 30-day free trial of Verve premium you heard that right free a Verve premium which gives you ad free access to 13 channels including crunchyroll Funimation and cartoon hangover because seriously why would you not want to follow up an angry beavers binge with Dragon Ball super and my hero akka all in premium HD all of it is available on verb get that 30 day free trial of Verve premium which includes all those shows and the ability to watch on the go with no internet connection by going to Verve dotco slash Matt hat that's a VR veto /m ATP 80 seriously guys get yourself some nick nick nick nick nick nick nick nickelodeon only now in the modern age in the convenience of your pocket or computer or TV or pretty much any other digital device where you want to watch something now play me off keyboard cat and remember that's just a theory film theory and cuts

46 thoughts on “Film Theory: The Secret to FUSING a Cat and Dog (Nickelodeon CatDog)

  1. Couldn't the dog be on immunosuppressants? The surgery would still be incredibly risky, but if the dog head takes a dog immunosuppressant, then the dogs immune system would not be as aggressive. Or, the dog could take something that gets rid of the immune system so the cat immune system takes over.

  2. Okay but what if you used crispr to inject traits of one species into the genetic code of the other, or otherwise unlock the existing genes from those older common ancestors?

  3. 1995
    Rock is modern life
    Godd stuff

    Jonny jonny yes papa song for kids 2018
    Family finger song kid friendly
    Some forign stuff

  4. Me at 9:40: SUBNAUTICA!!!!!!

    Could you cover it on Game Theory? Austin already covered it, but maybe you could cover something else? Like the geography of the playable area or something?

  5. That awkward moment when it doesn’t matter if you’re scrolling down is the comments because you’re watching on a phone

  6. Wait, wait, wait. If the dog head is on one end and the cat head is on the other end… where’s its butt?

  7. Matpat: SPIDERSHEEP
    Me: but llamachickens and fox owls and dog turtles and fox dogs and turtle alicorns and…
    I’m just gonna stop now before this takes 2 hrs

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *