A Dog Over Me?!

(audience applauding) (ooh ohh)
(ooh ohh) Look, if you love great deals discover some fantastic products you’ve got to check out my friends at joyous.com/wendy. They’re really good! They’ve got the cashmere, the diamonds, the electronics, a whole bunch of stuff for you. Go now before everything sells out. Now it’s time for “Ask Wendy!” Yay! (audience applauding) Hello (lauging)! How you doing? How you doing, Wendy? Okay, I love your hair. Thank you, it’s real. Okay! So my name is Noah and my boyfriend’s name is also, Noah. (audience laughing) Noah! Yes, yes, yes! No-ah! Yes-ah! Anyway!
Okay. So it’s the holidays we go to a lot of holiday parties and the number one question, the number one question Wendy that we get asked is “is that weird for you in bed?” (audience gasping) I don’t want to talk about my sex life at Christmas party. How do I get people to stop asking me this question? (crowd laughing) Get out of my face. Would you date someone named Wendy? No, oh but I did have a little boyfriend for about two weeks when I lived in Washington, D.C. and I worked at WOL. And his name was Wendy with a Y like mine. And the weird thing though he was really good-looking and really strong he use to carry me every place we went ’cause he as really big. Wendy! But no, no, no, no, no. No? But he was also like a (name), you know what I’m saying? But I love him, I love my Noah. But how long have you been with Noah? Five years. (audience affection) How old are you? 31 Wow! Yeah! You look 18. Thank you! But just tell people who ask you, “get out of my face!” Come on! Get out of my face, all right. Come on, yeah All right. Don’t say “none of your business!” Because that is too like there is business, just get out of my face deads everything. Thank you. You’re welcome Noah. (audience clapping) Come on up. Hi Wendy. (audience laughing) How you doing? (laughing) Wait, no come on out you came here to be seen. Yes Wendy, yes! (laughing) (audience cheering) All for you Wendy. Thank you. For the holiday show. Okay so Happy Holiday. What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do? My name is Kerry, how you doing? Hi Kerry. Actually I live in North New Jersey. Okay. But my question is Wendy. What do you do? I’m sorry I drive for New Jersey Transit. Okay, okay. Yes, okay! So Wendy I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now. Okay. Him and his ex-girlfriend share a dog. I love dogs however– How long were they together? For about five years. Do they have children? No. But they have this dog. Just the dog. Mm, hm.
Yes. Anyway Wendy, they go to the vet’s together with this dog. Oh, no the hell they don’t! They go to the doggie park with this dog. Oh, no they won’t. And the biggest thing is Wendy when he go on business trips she come over and dog-sit. (audience gasping) And sleep over and everything until he comes back. So my question to you is Wendy the ultimatum is it me or the dog one of us has to go? (audience gasping) Yeah! I told him. I mean you’ve been with him for a year that’s long enough time. You’ve put in your work. Hello. And you all don’t live together? No, not yet. Yeah but she’s free to go in there and check on his “dog”? (audience laughing) And she has a key Wendy. And a key, all right! (audience gasping) All right, you know what how old are you? 54. All right, you know what as opposed to even giving him and ultimatum because you know people love their pets. Just bounce. (audience clapping) You think so? Like I am not competing with a dog and an ex-girlfriend who has a key. Yeah that’s true. Okay Kerry, good luck. Thank you, Wendy. (audience applauding) I’m sorry Kerry, sorry. (audience applauding) The Wendy Show breaking up couples everyday. (audience laughing) Oh and how you doing? Wendy, how you doing? Good, what’s your name, were you from, what do you do? I’m Nicolette from Queens, NY and I work in a dental office. Okay. So I have a friend we’ve been friends since elementary school. Okay. She’s had a lot of boyfriends. Okay. Her new boyfriend she’s been with for a year but I’ve only met him twice. And she always has an excuse he’s working he’s not around. Do I call her out on it or do I let her live in her honeymoon fantasy world? Wait a minute hater! (audience laughing) What are you saying? Why? You don’t believe that your friend really does have a boyfriend? Oh, no I absolutely, I met him twice. But this is different in the past she is always like brought him around past relationships this time there’s always an excuse. But you’ve known her since elementary school. Yeah. When women grow up we keep our boyfriends to ourselves. Yeah which I– And once we really fall for them we push you all off to the side, no I’m that girl. Yeah. No, no now hold on now, girls mean everything to me until I meet a man. (audience laughing) So I should just let her be? Yeah leave her alone. Absolutely, that is what I’ve been doing. All right. All right. Don’t call her out. No. How old is she? 33. This is about, yep this is about that time. Mm hm. Do you have a boyfriend? I’m married. You know what then remember she wants to be married one day with children as well. Absolutely. Leave her alone. That’s what I’ve done. (audience applauding) Okay. (upbeat music) ♪ This, this is ♪ ♪ This, this is ♪

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *