3. S A D ⁄⁄ CatCreature

*jingle bell cartoon* hello hello, annabelle? yes? your order is here okay I’ll be right down. *watching the office* I was thinking just now about why do I
feel isolated at times, or when you know you have people in your life who are there to support you but also there’s times where it inevitably feels like reaching out and sharing those things comes with great responsibility to eventually make sure that like yeah don’t worry I’m fine in the end, or after they give you advice you’re like oh yeah thank you, you want them to feel rewarded for helping you, or something like that. all I wanted to say, to share with you on this platform is that.. some things are so stigmatized. you have the pressure to try your best to pretend- not even pretend, but just turn into someone who is independent, strong like okay, capable, productive, and this and that then suddenly like… disappointment is so stigmatized and I think that’s what was so liberating for me to have realized just now. I really admited to myself, I have my final review in one week you know, I only have a few days left and
this morning I went to do this at school. I guess it just really irks me and it
has been really weighing me down, that the truth of it is I’m just
really .. right now I’m disappointed with my work and that in no way means that I’m disappointed in myself, I’m allowed to be disappointed with my work. just because you’re capable of making great work, doesn’t mean you have to make
100% all the time great work and that every time you pick up your pen, you have to make the next masterpiece, or this work, or even for videos, like THIS video has to top the last video! I tell people casually, oh yeah I’m working at this really slowly or like yeah what I’m doing right now I’m not into it, or and then their reaction, which I understand is just like no! it’s great! what are you talking no you’re wrong! no!! but like… why can’t somebody just feel that? or think that? because maybe it’s the truth, maybe I can
be disappointed in my work and that will just encourage me to do
better next term or… whatever I’m doing that I don’t like right now I still have many decades in my life to make things that I truly truly feel like.. IS me, you know? on a more positive note, so this morning I went to the industrial
knitting machine, and my collection is based on the theme of whimsical sort of weird creatures. and I took a lot of the designs, like I had a lot of oval designs- from moths and butterflies wings, looking at that and how their markings are to emulate eyes which is supposed to scare off predators, or also help them camouflage and things like that. so I was taking those motifs and abstracting it and making certain textural fabrics. and I tend to be very graphic as a person, so with knitting I was trying to explore more structural, overall surface textural fabrics, and this is based on the eyes and I like how the wool puckers- I’m going to wash it and dry it so when it shrinks it will look even more green because they’re they’re gonna felt together. I was expecting the green and pink it to be a lot more vibrant but the fuzzy black yarn dulled it out so.. I think I’ve also been feeling it down because of S.A.D. the gloomy skies are… ..you know they affect everybody. everybody I hear complains about it and for some reason because it’s a cliché, it’s almost like okay get over it like no one
cares but maybe it’s legit like I just feel down. I’m really glad that I was able to tell you, sometimes I’m hesitant about sharing my problems because I’m afraid to worry people, or that they’ll come to me talking about it and I have nothing to say. um sometimes you should just share.. but you don’t have to follow up by saying like oh this problem is resolved! everything is fine ! I would just do my best, you know, as a promise to myself. as a student here in this apartment that I’m only gonna be in for half a year, with my two cats who are only going to be as old as they are now and just live my life and really enjoy it. I don’t want to keep thinking, when I
graduate I’ll be happier or I’ll be less stressed out when I graduate. there’s always going to be stuff that stresses us out.. so.. I just want to be present. I’m trying. the best thing I can do for Bambi is just completely ignore him so he’s not nervous. mug from MoMA, courtesy of savers. you’re sitting on it! I have been processing orders of Lilith’s collection. today our prints are going off to Germany, Canada, Canada, Ukraine, California… …Pennsylvania, Arizona, Oregon, ..and the UK. this is the first time I’m wearing skinny jeans in maybe two years? I found my own skinny jeans while I was cleaning the closet the other day and I want a snug silhouette in order to
wear this oversized long sweater and, skinny jeans would allow me to wear my knee-high boots which I haven’t worn in two years either. I’m so not used to it. I mean it’s flexible… but I’m just not used to feeling a tightness around my knee that was a nice short trip and it was sunny out so riding the bike was really good. I like how I don’t have to deck out and dress super warm, I always dress just a little bit cooler because when I ride my bike uphill, I get quite sweaty or my heart rate is really fast. I tried to visit my friends at impact everything, but they have holiday hours so they’re actually not open and I got some cards for my family from the gift shop. and I also found this other thing, okay.. I’m trying not to buy as much random shit now I always focus on what do I actually need and then I would happily make a purchase . that’s kind of what happened today so in the sale section, I got- my I was caught by this thing.. and not only is it knit, it’s yellow, and it says John lemon, and it’s a lemon. which is my aesthetic fruit. I really like lemons even though I cannot.. I could not eat lemons. I do like artificially lemon flavored things, like starbursts but the other day I got a lemon ginger tea for my throat and I was with Kat at this cafe (this vegan cafe) and oh my gosh… I tried. okay I’m not a tea drinker and I’m not a
fruit tea drinker, but I told myself… try new things. I was going to barf. what is this? well it is a water bottle sock whoa, why the hell do you need that? right? well, I feel like maybe this is just designed for novelty reasons but, this is actually something I was thinking about for so long! I’m gonna wear it like this im kidding. I mean I would at least get 2 if I was gonna wear it like this.. I have this water bottle that I’ve been using for a long time now I got this on my flight to school in September and I I don’t really purchase single-use plastics but this was given to me. maybe you saw it on my story because I asked for sparkling water and then she came back with a big bottle of water cus I think she misheard me? I like that this is bigger than a lot of bottles so it carries so much water and I did research on this, because I know some people are going to flare up and say oh it’s so dangerous or don’t do that or this and that but a lot of the rumors about it being really toxic came from this 2001 master student’s essay that came from.. I can’t remember, maybe University of Ohio or something so that was like 18 years ago, it was never peer-reviewed or published in a scientific journal, anyway it’s also like the type of plastic. I can’t remember what PET stands for.. polyethylene… telepha… I… I’m not a scientist this is hilarious though because Coca Cola’s attempt to say, oh we care they made 30 percent of this plastic plant based but I mean why can’t you just make it 100 percent? I read on their site and they said like, oh yeah ! we’re so innovative we came up with a way to make it 100 percent and we even showcased it in Milan or whatever but yeah.. they’re not doing it yet. there’s definitely precautions to take, if your plastic is decaying or cracked, or it’s getting white and foggy, or you’re leaving in the sun, then it’s definitely risky um but I don’t have a car, I never leave this in the sun, I’m only using it in my room or I bring it occasionally to class, and I like that it’s so light. *gasp* amazing! that’s the thing you know these days, I saw so many documentaries talking about the reality of recycling in this that and like I guess recycling is taking a whole new meaning now. I think plastic is a great innovation, it’s just that we have made it so integral to our convenience, it’s just like.. almost free in our minds that we just throw it away, right? but like what if we just treat it more preciously then.. if you reuse it or.. I mean I guess you should reduce, which is true but then also reuse when you can. yeah by the way I do wash this bottle as well. I have like one of those water bottle brushes. I’ll link it if you’re interested. this is amazing! so now I don’t have to worry about looking ugly cus I always hate seeing it on my desk. the green goes with the green leaf, too! also got some other stuff but I’m not
gonna show you or else the people I’m gonna give it to will know. so let’s do crochet until… …two? -then I’m gonna do the dishes, clean… clean.. clean the kitchen. oh my so it’s 9. today has just gone by with barely any footage and I was supposed to be drawing.. a second sketch for one of my project presentations and I got bored. so then I started drawing something else for FUN, which, still doing, but I really shouldn’t.. I’ll show you when I’m done but I’m enjoying myself. our Thanksgiving break just really threw
things off this year because normally when we have that week and we come back, we have two weeks of schoo l before the final presentation but this year we only have one. I realized that this time next week I will be completely done ! and all I have to do is go to bed and prepare for my flight! but.. yeah. I need to get myself together. hold on that’s my sister. I needa wash my hair! oh, I was supposed to get dry shampoo today and I have not. I’ll wash it tomorrow morning. my hope is that I can wake up early. I was so tired for some reason at 7:30pm.. but I’m gonna go to bed soon. feels good to be cleaned up, ready to go to bed. hopefully I can get up pretty early. I’m guessing that’s a very beautiful sunrise but.. we can barely see it.
*laughs* bambi, look it’s the sunrise. when I wake up in the mornings, I first turn on my magenta lights because I think it’s softer on the eyes. getting up early is one way I battle seasonal depression because I get more light time in a day. so around 6:30, which means I experience 9 hours of daylight whereas if I got up at 10, then I would have 5 hours. all along I thought that the original
soymilk I bought was unsweetened, the red carton- it was the only other one available other than vanilla. and then I went to a different grocery place, and Kat was telling me how they actually add sugar and I checked and yeah there’s like eight grams or something! like *scoffs* .. hmm makes a difference. yeah, I mean, of course. but it.. allows the flavors of the coffee to come through instead of the soy milk. so it’s actually preferable. Bambi look what you did, huh? you got so excited.. you messed everything. gosh. *sigh* he saw something, and was like OMG! and just- well at least he feels bad. yeah do you feel remorse? for what you did to me? huh? I have been working on this crochet. slow progress. but it is lunch now I stir-fried up some cabbage. everything else was the same as last time I showed you. but I’m gonna take a break, and I’m gonna watch the marvelous mrs. Maisel while I eat because season 3 came out today on prime video and that show is very entertaining so that is it to this week’s december daily, thank you for tuning in again. wait- the 3rd December daily, cus it’s every other day so I will see you in a day and
a half. as you can see my voice is kind of coming back which I’m very excited about. because part of why maybe I wasn’t feeling as festive when listening to Christmas music, I couldn’t get in the mood because I couldn’t sing along. *BABY PLEASE COME HOME* I mean.. now I am mostly completely recovered, which is great. tell me how you’ve been doing, I hope that you have a great rest of your day! until I see you next, rest well and take care.

100 thoughts on “3. S A D ⁄⁄ CatCreature

  1. I don’t know what I’m struggling with actually. It feels like I truly lost myself when my grandparents died and I just lost enthusiasm for most things.

    A few hours ago, I had to beg someone I loved to stay because I don’t think I could bear to lose anyone when I know I could still be better and get better. My hope for myself is very faint, but I hope it gets brighter with each day that I try to pick myself up. It’s the worst thing to know you’re consciously pushing people away because of sadness… but you really don’t want to be alone.

  2. SAD is real and it hard! I actually have SAD in the summer with the heat and the sunshine due to trauma I associate the weather with so I feel you! take the time you need! I hear from my friends in Seattle that a happy lamp helps a lot, and just think about how your season will come soon, that is how I deal with summer lol. I know my gloomy skies and little sunlight will come, and I hope your sunny skies come soon for you too!

  3. I always love when you talk about your creative processes or your relationship with the art you create. I am a musician in college rn and i find that while what I do is art in a different form, many of your insights and thoughts are still things that I very much relate to. I loved hearing you talk about how you separate your worth as a person and the quality of what you create… that's been something I've always struggled to do. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, I absolutely love your videos ??

  4. Your videos are what get me through the day! Since starting college I have definitely had many days where I feel sad and lonely and watching your videos have made me feel like I have a friend who I can listen to and spend time with. Everyone gets sad, and it’s really quite true how much of it is stigmatized. Just know there is such a following behind you and we’re all there for you! Hang in there, we <3 uuu

  5. Thank you for your vulnerability. It’s lovely to witness authentic expression in any form. It’s an icky feeling to be disappointed in your work – I had a depressed day with tears when I gave a presentation that I felt meh about, which still happened despite having the opposite happen only weeks before. I think of these low points as contrast in the great tapestry of life, and try to gracefully ride the waves much like you’re doing.

    I’ve been joyful this week. I’ve been bonding with colleagues and growing more passionate about my work each day. It’s been raining a lot, which I’m grateful for. Snuggling with my cats and sleeping feels the best this time of year with this type of weather.

  6. thinking about what you said in the beginning made me realize how parallel our minds think. i’ve been in college for 3.5 years and i’m graduating in a week. i think every semester i have gone through a period where i’m not happy with my art and i doubt myself and my friends always say that it’s totally fine. i think as time passed i started to realize that i just need to follow through with it to get it out of my system and then try something new. i’m a printmaking major so i can always save it as a collage piece or chin-colle it. and i always had the same mindset that once i graduate i’ll be fine and i can breathe but now that it’s so close i’m super sad and im going to miss everything about it. i’ll miss the classes and my professors and just being challenged. i had to cut my hours at work for school but now i have to go full time and get another job to pay off my debt and it makes me depressed. although stress and adversity comes with art, i think it’s worth it. i just wish i enjoyed it more than i did.

  7. i'm so glad, feel so blessed and appreciate that you let us know about what is your going on in your headspace.

    no human can make monalisa in every art, not even shakespeare can write ground-breaking literary pieces every single time. what matters the most is that you're trying, you're thriving to be BETTER and THAT is so very wonderful. sending lots of positivity and strength your way, pyper.

  8. I FEEL this – just late night writing my own thoughts down and came to youtube to find another great connection in your videos. You don't know this but you inspired me to go back to school (I go to MassArt). I think you're a really amazing person but most of all your authenticity is something I really just love coming back to connect with. In moments when I can relate like this, or moments where your thoughts introduce me to something new in that moment to help me think of something in a new way. Anyway I just think you are wonderfully human. And in times if you aren't sure, just know, I'm out here, also in pj's no makeup and kind of slumped around all day in my humanness and letting myself "have a break" for once in a while. Just real and enjoying you as you are too. Okay thanks have a great night!! lol

  9. Hello Annabelle! Playing with a laser for the cats is actually bad … because they will never experience success, they can't take anything physically. Just a tip :))

  10. i’m in my first year at uni and an right in the middle of exams. I love watching your vid’s, they really help me relax! i love the calmness, and the fact that you don’t find the need to unnecessarily hype things up ! love you annabelle! you’re amazing!

  11. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your life with us and for making time to make these videos. I'm in a very sad/bad place right now, and your videos somehow make me feel calm/makes me see things from a different perspective.
    I also want you to know that you don't have to be better or anyone else but you. Thank you for everything.

  12. Thank you for always being so relatable and real. I recently rediscovered that it’s okay to feel each feeling, good or bad or neutral. Constantly tying to suppress these negative feelings makes us think we’re doing something wrong…but it’s part of the beauty of being human. Some of the greatest poems, novels, art pieces, etc. stemmed from these emotions, so maybe it’s really just a matter of what we manifest from these feelings. Love love love this video Annabelle ?

  13. I had months and months (probably a year I would say) where I struggled so much with creating art that I liked and I hated everything I did. I noticed that it was effecting my mental health so I took a break and after a while I went back to my sketchbook and drew totally different things from what I was months ago. I then realised that I had been stuck in the same process and mediums so I tried all sorts of paints, pastels, using graphite again, collageing and eventually I managed to get myself out of there. So all I wanted to say was that it will get better with your art and you are allowed to feel how you feel because its okay to feel that way ?

  14. Girl as a fellow creative field person, don't ever apologise for feeling things too deeply. If you're tired, sad, angry, feel it. You're a human being and you are sensitive to your surroundings including the weather, you deserve to have a reaction and acknowledge it. And as a creative soul you need to see your bad work and feel bad about it. People also tell me things like 'no it's good don't tell yourself otherwise' but frankly it's me acknowledging that I can do better, I'm capable, but I'm also capable to do bad work because I'm capable to do better. 🙂 Feel deeply but also pick yourself up when you're ready.

  15. I'm in my final year of university, in the middle of all my art deadlines too, everybody is hard on my emotions and me physically at this point, having to head to the studio from 9-9 every day, doing work, my dissertation, most of my friendships have broken down now. My anxiety makes it feel so overwhelming, but I'm just making sure I keep going – trying to eat better when I can, looking forward to the holidays and spending time with my family and my boyfriend ❤

  16. Dear Annabelle, I hope you are doing better today! I am a music student and i was going through a phase of desmotivation, where i just didn’t want to practice because i just didn’t see any progress with it. But then i found your channel and i started binge-watching your videos, cause they are so inspiring! You are so inspiring, always trying new things and always trying to be a better and more complete person! And i have been feeling so much more motivated and been so much more productive! And i know that you are one of the biggest reasons for my motivation! Thank you so much! ?? also, i just wanted to say a little warning, i really hope i don’t scare you or make you feel guilty, because most people don’t know about this… it’s about playing with a laser light with your kitties! I once read that that is not very good for them, because, as they can’t never catch the little light, they get really stressed out and if you do it a lot with them they can start having raige attacks. I really don’t remember where i read or seen this but i think you might find this disclaimer very relevant and you might want to look for more about this. Anyway, i hope you don’t feel bad about yourself because of this, cause I know that you do it with the best intention possible. I hope you start feeling better as well! Kisses from Portugal! ❤️

  17. i have just started university and your videos help me so much with relaxing.. and also motivation! seeing you being so real was so relatable.. thank you Annabelle, i hope next days will bring you some calm and festive atmosphere ♥

  18. At the start you really spoke to my heart; I've been feeling so disappointed in myself recently so your words are what I needed to hear :') Thank you for your effort in making these videos every day !

  19. I have seasonal depression too, it was mostly with the summer time because it reminds me of just bad things. I don’t think I have it still, but it’s transitioning into the winter now and just the winter makes me sad sometimes. I don’t like how dark it gets so quickly, like at 4pm it literally is nearly pitch black. Anyways, sending all my love Annabelle <3

  20. I have been stressed out for a week now and im feeling so down. Your videos really make me feel better and we will get through things and it’s OKAY to feel down sometimes. So thank you for that❤️

  21. that talk about disappointment actually really helped, thank you! i've been feeling very overwhelmed lately, but i always try to remember: this feeling is temporary, everything will be okay, it always eventually is.

  22. Every video of urs is like a little movie. The way u film ur day is so beautiful and cinematic I could actually cry. Thank u so much for putting so much effort into this!

  23. These days I feel down too and I just need somebody who cares me enough to just be there and listen. I appreciate the try of help but somethings don't have to be okay all the time. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings, hearing that I'm not alone really helps me.

  24. i honestly felt the worries that you were telling us during the first half of the video and i could really relate to it, especially when it comes to disappointment, thinking about the future and etc. next year, my contract from my first job will be done and i hv to think of a next step, i don’t hv a concrete plan yet but i do want to do masters but since my first job didn’t pay that much, i hv to get a job still so that i could sustain myself cos i don’t want to depend on my parents that much anymore and with just that, it rly bothers me a lot, worrying what to do next really made me exceptionally down but just like you said, a friend of mine also told me that it’s okay to enjoy and live the present time. tbh, i’ve been rly happy lately and i want to live that bc there’s no point of the future if we keep worrying about it. so, i totally get it. and with disappointments, your feelings are valid, it’s fine to not feel okay at all, grieving about some things, feeling melancholic about other things – those are real. just take your time, pace yourself well. all the negative things that happen around us are only temporary and there’s a much bigger picture right in front of us and i’m sure that it’s worth it 🙂 i also want to thank you for being so transparent nowadays, sharing your thoughts about life, about sustainability, about vegetarianism and the like.

    i rly love watching your december daily videos, listening to you talk about life in general really soothes me so despite your busy schedule, i’m rly grateful that you take your time to film and edit. i hope that you are taking yourself well, please know that as your viewers, we are your friends too! so, i hope that you get to read this little message of mine. god bless with everything, annabelle! i’ll continue to root for you ??⭐️

  25. I totally get how u felt, so relatable. I had the same experience with my graduation project. I stressed out so bad that I had to go to the hospital, ended up crying in front of my family and the doctor hahah. Then got some stress release injection to be able to back to normal and finish the project tho. The point is, it happens and it shall pass, you r doing great, gotta let it go sometime. ✌?

  26. I believe people like you, who are artists at heart and study/make a living of it, have the hardest work. The pressure of making something perfect is really heavy on you. And I think it's really important that you acknowledge the fact that you can be disappointed with your work, but not yourself or your art as a whole. And yeah, gloomy weather is always putting me down too. Its really cold and gloomy in my country too and I just want snow already :c hope you're having a great day!

  27. I've been experiencing really bad depression lately and I'm trying to tell myself it's just SAD because of the months it's in but I haven't been able to pin point what's wrong at all 🙁

  28. "just because you're capable of making great work, doesn't mean you have to make 100% all the time great work…" thank you so much for this reminder. I've been very pressured to create videos lately in school and this video helped me feel accompanied, i luv u Ms. Catcreature ? thank you.

  29. I always leave your videos feeling so peaceful – you have such a calming energy and I’m so grateful I found you! ??

  30. Started crying at 2:33 bc I knew exactly how you feel and even tho everyone goes through it differently, it’s still so painful to go through.

  31. For Designers their work reflects who they are. You often feel that you as a person are bad when your work is bad. I wish it wouldn't be like that. I am not my work and even though my work has to change, I don't have to change.

    And I know what you mean, that you tell people about your problems and feelings just because you think they deserve to know it and because they say they are there for you. But it honestly doesn't help you.

  32. Your chat about disappointment and school struggles is exactly what I needed to hear! Sometimes, it helps to put things in perspective when you hear your thoughts spoken and shared by someone else. I completely agree with you! And I think my last year of university has been so stressful and the worst year for me in terms of mental health and stress because I put so much pressure on myself because it's my third year, and I should have everything figured out, I shouldn't be slacking or procrastinating, my essays should be amazing because I've been here for 3 years. But like you said, it's okay to be disappointed. We're not machines and it's impossible to create work constantly at a level which is deemed perfect because there are so many factors that play into everything! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, and thank you for these videos, they always make my day. Take care and have a lovely weekend!! ?

  33. Thank you for being honest and bringing the topic of disappointment and stress of not being perfect in everything up. That is what I really needed to hear.

  34. I also have one week left to be done with finals. I have no motivation to start on my final essay or study for my final exams just because I’m already so exhausted

  35. The dancing part put a big smile on my face. Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable, I‘m sure I‘m not the only one whose day you‘re making a little brighter by just being who you are?

  36. This image popped in my head just now and I have the urge to write it. One day I hope, I will walk among your art work, because seeing it, feeling it will be so powerful because I watched your videos and will be just proud to really feel the meaning and the energy ( good or bad ) in your work. What you’ve been through, the process. Thank you very much for your vulnerability and the talk. Sending you love from Paris ❤️

  37. I cannot even begin to describe how relaxed and calm i feel after watching your videos. The stress and anger that i woke up with is literally gone. I absolutely love your videos. ❤️Thank you for opening up always about your feelings. I needed to hear all of it because on the inside, i think we can all relate to you~ Thank you, Annabelle

  38. Enjoyed your video! I understand disappointment — I crashed AND burned at my piano recital performance a couple of nights ago. I know I can play my Chopin piece better but once I failed in getting my fingers place correctly, it was a 60-second tonal disaster! The audience was kind and for that I am truly grateful! But I am disappointed that I did not showcase my hard-earned skill better. But I like to think that my failures allow me to recognize my successes! It will not be my last recital so I will get a chance for redemption! Still, disappointment stings. Regarding SAD, people in the Nordic countries go for months without sun. During these "dark times" they developed a set of rituals reserved to make their interior lives cozy and special — like lighting candles, comforting scents (like pine), special food dishes (gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate laced with peppermint schnapps) — anything special and precious enough to the make the dark days more welcoming. For example, I do almost all of my knitting and english-paper piecing (a quilting technique) during the winter months. These are activities I look forward too and something I can do while I watch TV or talk with friends. By spring, I have a new sweater and a new quilt. For the quilt label I will write something like "Winter 2019/2020 — I was missing my Dad, I played Chopin both well and badly, and I planted fabric flowers as I waited for Spring." To everything there is a season, honor that and be grateful. Good luck with your finals!

  39. I would like to just say how much I appreciate not just you but your hard work on these videos. The videos you make are so beautifully shot and edited. Like the professional level of your videography is just so amazing and fantastic. The beginning of this video literally made me feel like I clicked on a short film. And your travel vlogs are so stunning. They feel so personal yet theatrical and immersive. I feel so honored that you allow us to take a look at your life. Thank you so much.

  40. I know how you feel. Truly. This year has just not been my year and the seasonal affective disorder is insult to injury. I especially hate it when people try to invalidate how I feel, as if I’m not allowed to feel upset at myself for something I did. Like, no. Let me grieve. Let me be sad.

    You’re not alone, Annabelle.

  41. I love how real you are in this video. I appreciate how bold you are with your content.
    I am also in a creative rut right now with my art and this really helped me

  42. Bambi feeling bad and going to the corner is the cutest thing ever, my dog used to do that as well when she got into trouble haha. Your talk in the beginning, alike everyone else, really resonated with me too and as you said in the previous vlog about your poem recital, I really admire your guts to share your thoughts onto the internet bc not everyone has it!! <333 Have a lovely day annabelle!!!xoxo

  43. what size are u wearing for the yellow sweater u designed in the beginning! i think ima treat myself for christmas!!

  44. Hey Annabelle it's one of your silent viewers XD just wanted to say I understand how you feel about your work and then also the tie in of seasonal depression. I actually just graduated from SVA also an college here in New York. I actually started watching your videos when you were a freshman and I was a sophomore xD so I relate so much there aren't a lot of art college people here on youtube. Definitely I've always battled even now working in my field about my work and being disappointed in it and not liking how its coming out, its such a large battle as an artist to accept and sometimes overcome. Also I feel like I went through more of seasonal depression in college because you feel like your in this massive bubble of just school and school work and you don't have time to be able to enjoy the holidays till you finally get to see your family so I relate a lot. I'm trying to really enjoy my first Christmas out of college and take in all the cheer and joy and whimsy. But anyway I've talked enough xD you'll get through it believe me and soon find your Christmas cheer!

  45. I love that even with seasonal depression, we can all try and see/feel joy with the little things. Life is full of rough patches but the fact that we can try and make the patch softer by putting a band-aid on it, or sanding it to be smooth (idk metaphors man), we can take the things that we enjoy doing and it helps, a lot. Thank you for making these <3 I hope that you feel better, and I hope that anybody reading this (if anybody does lol, probably not) knows that they are wonderful, and remember to try and enjoy life! (idk man im sorry if i offend anybody with this, i needed to get that off my chest)

  46. annabelle, thank you so much for the videos you put out – especially your December Dailies. as a college student, late November and early December always seem to bring some feelings of depression, and these help tremendously. i have been watching these as my study breaks as i also have my finals/projects due this coming week! thank you for your motivation :')

  47. The disappointment clip reminds me sooo much of when I say that I want to start working out and people say I’m not fat. Like 1. I’m not confident so it doesn’t matter if I’m “not fat”, and 2. Lord forbid anyone wants to exercise because they want the health benefits!
    I just hate how people will always say stuff like “you aren’t ugly”, “you aren’t fat”, “you’re not a failure”, etc. Because it’s annoyingggg let me feel how I feel

  48. you are strong, annabelle 🙂 one second we can be crying and wanting to rip everything to shreds, and then the next we are putting on our shoes and stepping out the door. we are capable of so much even when we feel the worst

  49. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. Sometimes when friends tell us their problems and talk about being disappointed in their work, their current state of being, etc. it’s just as important to simply listen and let them know they have every right to feel that way rather than giving them assurances that their work is good enough. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us talk about what’s bothering us and not offer solutions but just be there for us. I hope that makes sense ♥️

  50. i feel you so much cause this how i feel right now, i'm a graphic designer but this semester i have nothing in my mind to do it's feel like i lost my creativity or my passion but i still have a feeling that everything will be fine at the end so please don't give up on yourself stay strong and beautiful?

  51. you couldn't have picked a better time to upload this, just what I needed to hear. <3. Thank you so incredibly much. take care of yourself.

  52. when you talked about being disappointed in your own work i really felt that , so yesterday i saw my grade in my graduation project and i really didn't like it like i was really down , my professor told me from the begging of this semester is that my graduation project is gonna be the worst project i would do in my entire academic career in uni and thats totally fun cause from that you would grow and make better one outside uni and you will be pro in doing it and even teaching about it , this is what what he told me . still , its 4AM in my country and i still got two FINAL finals to go and i did not study yet cause im really mad about my grade ! and at the end thank you for this lovely blog to make me forget about it

  53. Hey Annabelle! Thanks for making these videos. The regular uploads must be super hectic and time-consuming with your busy schedule and I hope you know they're much appreciated. Seeing you talk about SAD made gave me validation for my own similar state of mind. I'm a final-year uni student too and the ongoing exams are gruelling. Videos like this make me feel understood and less like I'm confined. Lots of love!

  54. Such relatable words Annabelle. I’ve been working on a write up for online,about the work I do….and I’ve been avoiding it lately.Every time I turn on my laptop,I keep thinking “I’ve got to write the whole essay”…but I don’t. Doing 20 minutes is okay. Doing 10 minutes is okay.
    It’s nice to hear someone else realize the same thoughts sorta..

  55. I just graduated with my Art BA in June, and having to go through a year of senior thesis work with my other studies and financial/admin stress breathing down my neck, I hit such a low low point. Hearing you say it's okay to feel disappointed about your work is reassuring to me because I know I'm not the only one who felt/feels it (I still feel that way even in trying to become a practicing artist). Also a cool side note, my concept revolved around my deep phobia of moths, and you saying that you looked into moth and butterfly wings and their eye-like patterns is really cool! I'd like to know how you drew meaning from them just to see the vast commentary they can take on. But anyways, even after graduating I still feel disappointed, I hope that isn't discouraging. It gives me hope and peace, because that means I still have room to grow and create new work and not have to hold myself up to societal pressures on what a practicing artist should be. Thank you for showing that you are real, and just know that one piece of work leads to another. <3

  56. thank you for this. I just changed my major to graphic design and having unrealistic expectations from myself and others in my studio arts classes have been so overwhelming and your words reminded me to be okay with taking things slow. love watching you always

  57. I totally can relate. ? On my last year of Graphic Design, sometimes I feel really down & uninspired. I'm tired of teacher giving me opinions. Oh and the seasonal depression is real. I didn't do anything yesterday 🙁 I'm ready to graduate

  58. I love how down to earth you always are. Been here since before your acceptance into uni. Will love to see your current makeup routine talked through and also on how you go about your wardrobe! 🙂

  59. I’m allowed to be disappointed with my work. that sentence made me literally cry.. As an art school student, I can really feel it and I realised that what you said, disappointment thing is what I really wanted to hear these days… thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ⭐️

  60. This video was so beautiful, I cried a little bit. The aesthetic hit me hard and I absolutely adore and support you. I think, the message you conveyed with this video is so important, eventhough it probably wasnn't planed, but thank god it was there.

  61. Oh annabelle my heart resonates with you. It doesn’t help that I live in England (it’s dark ALL the time), just graduated this November (but have no motivation/energy to apply for jobs) so I’m just stuck in this weird, dark, sleepy limbo of sadness

  62. thank you so so so much for this !!! I started uni in September and it's been the hardest time of my life! I totally feel the same way with my work; having never really struggled with my work previously uni hit me like a train its been hard to deal with my work not being good or not doing things right. It's so irritating how we are expected to constantly be perfect when uni should be about learning! we are all still learning 🙁

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